Bumpy Road and All

Jose and I read the "One Year Bible" in our quiet time. (In case you don't know what that is it's the normal bible but it's put into 365 sections each with a couple chapters of the OT a couple chapters of the NT and a section of Psalms and Proverbs. If your looking for an easy way to read the whole bible in a year that's a great place to start.) Right now the OT section is Job. It's almost entertaining how it feels like whatever we are studying/learning about we always seem to get a little "hands on" training in. Now I couldn't even pretend to think I know what Job went through but we get our own little taste every once in a while. I think just enough to appreciate where Job was coming from. I've always felt somewhat connected to Job I've had conversations with myself that sound like some of the things he says to his friends, for example
Job 23 
“My complaint today is still a bitter one,

and I try hard not to groan aloud.
If only I knew where to find God,
I would go to his court.
I would lay out my case
and present my arguments.
Then I would listen to his reply
and understand what he says to me.
Would he use his great power to argue with me?
No, he would give me a fair hearing.
Honest people can reason with him,
so I would be forever acquitted by my judge.
I go east, but he is not there.
I go west, but I cannot find him.
I do not see him in the north, for he is hidden.
I look to the south, but he is concealed.
“But he knows where I am going.
And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold.
For I have stayed on God’s paths;
I have followed his ways and not turned aside.
I have not departed from his commands,
but have treasured his words more than daily food.
But once he has made his decision, who can change his mind?
Whatever he wants to do, he does.
So he will do to me whatever he has planned.
He controls my destiny.
No wonder I am so terrified in his presence.
When I think of it, terror grips me.
God has made me sick at heart;
the Almighty has terrified me.
Darkness is all around me;
thick, impenetrable darkness is everywhere.

He goes from desperation to self righteousness to hope to terror. (I find it odd that he is not a girl, this is more common in the feminine sex...and yes I am talking about myself here) His friends are trying to help him but they are just making things worse. I've heard much greater theological minds speak on this subject and I'm not going to try to compete with them but something God has been showing me in this book, right now, is this. When everything feels like its falling apart my tendency is to figure things out. The who, what, where, why, when and how of the situation. I start getting all busy running around wasting my energy even explaining to God why I'm in the right. When I really need to just trust God and rest in him. You could say I need to "Cast the whole of my cares (all of my anxieties, worries, and concerns once and for all) on God, for He cares for me affectionately and and cares about me watchfully" (1 Peter 5:7) I love that He care for me affectionately! He cares about me watchfully! He doesn't just care about me in the way an employer cares about an employee. He gets a swell of pride in His heart when I tell Him I love Him just like I do when one of my babies tells me they love me. When I'm playing a little too close to the "deep end" His attention is riveted on me. He won't let me drown because He's my Daddy!

So yes. The road is bumpy. There are times that I think it's more than I can bear. But my daddy is with me ready to carry my load :)

Kat~*