I'm still sad. I still ache to hold my baby and my eyes fill with tears occasionally when I see babies that are about the age he would be. I guess it's similar to a physical wound. Generally it doesn't hurt so much but when something touches it then the pain is strong for a moment.
The good news is God is faithful. He has carried us through this and at the end of the storm there will be a rainbow.
The week that Caleb went to Heaven my sweet friend Johanna sent me an album through iTunes. That whole album (and "Where I find you"by Kari Jobe) has been very soothing for me. I pretty much played them nonstop for 2 months. The words to this song pretty much sum up how I feel and have felt since the beginning.
Under the wings of God
I will rest, and I will lie in wait
Watching the storm go by
From this shelter of His love and grace
His love is strong
And my hope is here, under the wings of God
Where I belong
And in His love I am safe
When the leaves begin to fall
From the trees of happiness and joy
When the season of sorrow comes
Like a frigid breeze over the frozen soil
His love is warm
And my hope is here under His blazing sun
Where I belong
In His love I am safe
When I am weak He is, He is stronger
When I am slipping He pulls me in close
When I am helpless He will defend me
He is with me wherever I go
Who is like Him? Awesome in power
Who is stronger? His strength has no end
If He is for me, who stands against me?
He will hold me safe in His hands
Thank you for those of you who pray for us and send notes and messages. They mean a lot to us. I love to hear how my baby boy's short life has impacted people. I will never get tired of talking about him so please don't hesitate to mention him to me. (if you want to)
Hey Sweetie,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your your post. I've often wondered how you're doing. As one who has also experienced loss in the last couple of years, I would encourage you to take time to grieve, cry, journal. It doesn't diminish your love for God. He intended us to work through the pain, and if you don't allow yourself to cry when you need to, it will just come back later.
Love and prayers,
Elizabeth
Thank you Elizabeth
DeleteHermana, ¿qué podemos decir?
ReplyDeleteNinguna palabra humana puede consolar por el dolor de haber perdido a un hijo. Si así fuera no habría "heartache" en el mundo. Sin embargo, la palabra de Jesús, que es confiable sobre toda palabra humana, nos aseguró que él enviaría a un Consolador. Él es quien, en su tiempo y su momento, traerá la paz y el descanso que necesitas, dándote la seguridad de que ya no más tus ojos llorarán por esa pérdida, sabiendo que Caleb está en un mejor lugar, ausente al cuerpo pero presente al Señor. Y cuando Jesús regrese, regresará con él para reunirnos todos en las nubes. "Por tanto, alentaos los unos a otros con estas palabras." 1 Tesalonisenses 4:18
Que el Espíritu de Dios haga su obra pronto en ti.
Aldo y Ceci :)
Gracias Hermano Aldo.
DeleteBendiciones
<3
ReplyDeletelove to you.
ReplyDeleteYou are a beautiful symbol of the grace of God and how His power works in our weakness. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for arresting Kathryn's heart and provoking her to express herself. What a warrior you are! I love you.
ReplyDelete