A Happy Marriage Is A Long Conversation That Always Seems Too Short

Ok, so I know it's kind of overly obvious to blog about your love around valentines day. But I figure I waited until after valentines so I'm doing pretty good.

I say a lot that Jose is my best friend and he is. There is no one I feel more at home with. No one I would rather bum around with and no one I would rather go through rough times with.

"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip"

                                                                              ~Jonathan Carroll

I think that statement is funny but in reality I don't really think it's love that doesn't laugh when you trip. Love is the making sure you are ok before they laugh and then laughing with you (not at you). Everyone trips especially in relation to love but when you have made a decision to love no matter how you feel; and learn to laugh together about the tripping that sometimes occurs. That is a pretty good start. I'm not going to preach about marriage because honestly most of you that read this know way more about marriage than I do. But I've been feeling all mushy about love and the guy I choose to do life with so I wanted to say something about it...(besides this is MY blog...I can talk about whatever I want ha ha ha)

I will leave you with this 

"Nothing can match the treasure of common memories, of trials endured together, of quarrels and reconciliations and generous emotions."

~ Antoine De Saint-Exupery

"The true measure of loving...is to love without measure"

~ Bernard of Clairvaux

"Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, The last of life for which the first was made."

 ~ Robert Browning

What are some of your favorite quotes/sayings about love? (I love quotes lol)   

Who's Your Daddy?

I love watching little children play with their daddy. The air is filled with screams of delight and "daddy look!" "daddy, watch me!" "come here daddy!" In a child’s mind their daddy was made entirely for their pleasure. Those same children live to see their daddy smile and to make him proud. The statements "daddy watch me" could easily be exchanged for. "do I make you proud?" Every child asks their parent that almost every day.


It doesn't take a lot of time talking to people to know that people are hurt by their parents. Even good parents do damage to their children without meaning to or trying. So whether your father/mother did unimaginable things to you as a child/adult or didn't answer your question correctly, or anything and everything in between. Chances are you have a father wound. I can't say that I have concrete world statistics but I will say that I randomly asked 10 people if they have ever been hurt by their father in any way. All ten said yes. (to be fair they were all women, I don't know if the results would be different if I had asked men too) Wow. That is so sad.

No wonder we have a hard time as a society and as individuals to see God being our father as a good thing. In our world today dad's are too busy for us, we don't live up to their expectations, or they just don't care about us. Most Christians treat God like that is how he is too. I've heard people say "God has more important things to deal with than to worry about my health/grades/family" But the thing is he doesn't. Matthew10:29-31 says "Two sparrows cost only a penny, but not even one of them can fall without your Father's knowing it. God even knows how many hairs are on your head. So don't be afraid. You are worth much more than many sparrows."

Here are some more things you should know about God

Psalm 139:13-16 says
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day

and Isaiah 43:1-4
"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.
I've called your name. You're mine.
When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.
When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you're between a rock and a hard place,
it won't be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That's how much you mean to me!
That's how much I love you!
I'd sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.

Does that sound like someone who would let you down? Or be to busy for you?
He's not! He is the only one that will never leave you or forsake you or let you down.

He is waiting for us to look for him. He longs for us to say "watch me daddy!" to say "Sit next to me, I just want to talk to you. To hear what you think of me" "You are my hero!" All you have to do is be like a little child and let him be your daddy.

So let me ask you again. Who's your daddy?

Thoughts on writing

Growing up in my house life was always a competition. I blame it on my sister. She wanted to do everything better than me. (I hear it is a second born tendency. I don't know.) Anyway like I was saying everything was a competition with her.

 So when it came to writing I didn't try to compete.

 I hated signing the same card as her because I would write something along the lines of "Happy Birthday, I love you!" She would write "Because of you I have breath in my lungs, you make the sun seem brighter, music seems more melodious and the air feels purer. Thank you for everything you do and are. I love you Happy birthday"

 I could have sworn she was meant to work for a greeting card company because the stuff she came up with was really, really sappy. And I couldn't compete so I didn't, I continued my course of action and eventually stopped going in on cards with her. I would buy those really sappy cards and write "this card says it all". I assumed writing was the problem but I've recently discovered that wasn't it. The book "The Five Love Languages" talks about what was happening there. She shows love with her words. That is how she is wired. That is so not me.

Imagine my surprise when I discover I like writing. I mean I guess it makes sense I am a girl and we have like 20,000 words a day that we need to speak. Writing is like speaking...so no wonder there are so many female bloggers! So if you have been following my blog you probably noticed the slight change that I don't only talk about Peru anymore. I will still be offering updates on our progress but I will be spending more time talking about other things too. I have given myself a goal to blog at least once a week this year. Your comments on here and face to face are encouraging and I appreciate them so don't stop!

And now a question. What are you doing for valentines day?

Do you have any traditions that you would like to share?

Peru Update

My dear friend Heather asked for more details about our plans in Peru. Which made me realize I really hadn't given those yet. :P


A part of the reason I have not is because a few things are still up in the air but here is "the plan" for now.

Jose's dad Pedro and our "son" Victor will be arriving in Lima at the beginning of August to find a house/apartment for us and to start helping La Casa Del Padre prepare for their annual conference. August 30th 2010 we leave for Lima! We will spend the month of August finalizing things and visiting some special people :) The conference is September 9-11 so we will pretty much hit the ground running. Specifics of what we will be doing from day to day in Lima are kind of hard to say right now simply because the nature of ministry is to be available to do whatever we are needed for whenever we are needed. We are not sure at this point how long we will stay in Lima but it will likely be 1-2 years to work with La Casa Del Padre and Pastor Guillermo Aguayo. There is also a Christian orphanage that we hope to connect with and learn from.

Once we complete our time in Lima we will be moving North to Piura. Our gears will change once we get there. Our goal in Piura is to start a church with the focus being building men to lead their families in righteousness. We also plan to open an orphanage.

If you are interested in supporting our mission and would like to make a tax deductible donation we will have an account with our church that you can give into. (I will give more details about that once we have it set up)

If you want to give and are not concerned about having a tax deductible donation you can give into our pay pal account jkmission2peru@gmail.com is our account address. I just put a donate button on the upper right hand corner that will take you there directly. If you have any questions about this just drop me an email or leave it as a comment here and I will help you out.

Finally, if you are a member of our Powerhouse family and you already give to Powerhouse please continue to give into the church. Pastor has established a missions account that will support the mission to Peru.

There's no such thing as a pretty Christian

The other day Jose and I were having a nice dinner at one of our favorite places right around closing time. In the corner of the restaurant sitting at the bar was a very loud woman and 2 very loud men who from their very loud conversation I gathered were both trying to pick up the very loud woman. Normally when I'm at a restaurant with Jose I don't notice other people (so if you ever see me at a restaurant and I don't see you don't take offense just know I'm on a hot date ;) However as I mentioned before this group was very, very loud. One of the men told the woman that she is beautiful. She then began to rant about how girls are told from the time they are very young they are beautiful and it doesn't mean anything to women to hear it. (this is false, women who hear it all the time may think it means nothing but if they stopped hearing it for a couple weeks...you better believe they will be doing whatever they can to hear it again.) This conversation and a few others I've had recently have had me thinking about the subject of beauty.


When I was younger I was always told that I was very beautiful. I heard it often enough that it did things to my self esteem that you can't manufacture and in turn I think it made me seem more beautiful because not only was I attractive I behaved with the self confidence of someone who knows they are attractive. (what do you think makes movie stars even the ones that are just so/so seem so beautiful?) As I turned from adolescent to young adult I started getting exposed to religious people who deemed beauty a liability. Twisting scripture such as "man looks on the outside but God looks at the heart" to mean that if you are pretty or attempt to look your best you have the wrong focus. The other one I heard a lot was "charm is deceitful and beauty is vain" (I have an opinion on these verses I will address later in this post) So I started to have an inner conflict. I didn't want to be ugly but when you are told by enough people that you must if you want to be saved (essentially) you start to think (at least I did) that maybe, just maybe you can't be pretty and a Christian. So then comes a subconscious choice. Love God or be beautiful? Honestly for awhile I chose the latter. (sad but true) Then after I came to myself and realized I had lost God somewhere back there I started to let myself go a little and try to hide my beauty. (I know, I know, I told you I have a pretty healthy *maybe even overly healthy* :s self esteem) You must understand I didn't sit there and think "God or beauty? God or beauty? O.k. I pick beauty...Now I pick God" Like I said it was mostly subconscious.

So for awhile now I've been told the things I was told before were not correct. God loves beauty! Look around you. Wherever you are you are surrounded by the wonder and beauty of God's creation. Even if you are sitting inside with no plants you are still surrounded by the beautiful colors God created. If he didn't love beauty then why did he make flowers beautiful? Even fruit and vegetables are absolutely, brilliantly beautiful! (where else can you eat a rainbow naturally?)

Now to address the scriptures I spoke of before 1 Samuel 16:7 "But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" This verse was talking to a man choosing the future king. God was telling him not to judge others based on their appearance. (ironic, no?) Yes we can use it as a reminder that just because Joe Shmoe thinks you are an angel because you look like one that is not exactly a God breathed endorsement of your spiritual health. But *I* believe it is mostly a reminder for us to not follow someone because they *look* like a leader but because God has ordained them to be. Ok next verse

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. (NLT version) {whoops those people that were preaching to me before kind of left something off}. Ok yes this does say charm is deceptive, but I think people see that and say to themselves "oh no! charming people are deceptive! Must run away from all charming people" (shoots a leery glance at the handsome prince they married, "I knew there was something off about him" ahem, anyways) That is not talking about charming people it's talking about charm in general. Some people particularly women (imho) can come off as charming at first but it's like a mask. Charm can be taught (hello! Charm school anyone?) but it's not real. Not everyone is charming all the time, at some point prince charming stops putting his shoes in his closet and his undies in the laundry basket (not my prince charming, but you know *other* prince charmings out there) and there comes a point in time when a woman takes of her make-up or *gasp* doesn't wear any sometimes. See what I mean? Its a mask. Next part, beauty does not last. Beauty fades! Yes it does we all know it. We all (or almost all) try to deny it and color our grays, buy wrinkle creams, exercise our bodies into submission but we all pretty much reach our most attractive point at a young age and then (very, very slowly) ;) grow older and not as beautiful as we once were. However that does not mean that until your beauty fades you cannot be a good God-fearing woman! Not at all! If your focus is on being beautiful on the outside and you forget the necessary inside beautification then your in trouble. Wash yourself with the word woman! How many days do you go without taking a shower? If you don't do that regularly you will stink! Also you will start to look gross. (you know it happens) So why do we go days sometimes without taking our daily Word bath? Honestly? Nobody sees us not reading our bible. We can charm our way into seeming like we did it. But God sees. If we really fear him really, honestly care most about what he thinks then we will take the time to talk with him each day and read the beautiful love letters he wrote us. Read this

How beautiful you are, my darling,

how beautiful!

Your eyes are like doves.

My dove is hiding behind the rocks,

behind an outcrop on the cliff.

Let me see your face;

let me hear your voice.

For your voice is pleasant,

and your face is lovely.

You have captured my heart,

my treasure, my bride.

You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes,

with a single jewel of your necklace.

Your love delights me,

my treasure, my bride.

Your love is better than wine,

your perfume more fragrant than spices (taken from song of Solomon)

Alright ladies. That was written for you. How do you feel? Has anybody on earth told you something that beautiful? (it is possible I know, just not very common) Reading that, do you think the one who invented flowers and wrote that for you wants you to be ugly? Or pretend you don't want to be what he made you? I don't think so! You are beautiful! God made you that way so play it up! Just don’t let yourself get too carried away. Balance is the key to life. Be beautiful for God and you will be fine. (oh and it's ok to like it when people say your pretty or beautiful...and in case you aren't sure, the proper response to such a statement is "Thank you" )