Anyway this part stuck out to me.
I always joke that it's my life verse whenever people comment on how quiet I am. Truthfully, it's not my life verse but I do think of it a lot.
The thing about talking is it's easy. Most of us do it non stop from about a year old (or earlier) until we die. Because it's so easy, it's very easy to say things that we don't mean or we haven't thought through. Which is actually a part of the reason that I like writing. I can write out everything in my heart then look back over it and decide if what I wrote is really saying what I want to say. Even so I know I still make mistakes. That's life and a part of human nature. So I try to stick with the "less is more" mindset. (watch this be my longest post ever. lol)
I know it's easy to talk about other people with no bad intentions and then somewhere in there it turns into gossip. I have run into many situations where I realize I have gotten myself stuck on a runaway train and then I don't know what to do. I don't want to offend whoever I'm talking to but at the same time I know that the territory we have crossed into is inappropriate. Am I the only one this happens to? I kind of doubt it but I don't know. I used to just start panicking and whoever I was talking to would realize I wasn't paying attention to what they were saying and would ask if I was ok. While it did work it was a little embarrassing. So lately I've just starting using the honest approach. When I realize what I'm doing I just say. "I'm sorry, can we talk about something else?" or something along those lines. I've also used redirection. You know "Oh! speaking of Mary, Have you tried that new sushi place?" It might not even make sense but it works. (now if I'm ever talking to someone who reads this blog and do that they will know what I'm doing...maybe I should keep this a secret.)
Often things we say are a part of our culture and we don't even think about the actual meaning of what we are saying. There is a word here in Peru that people say all the time when there is a child crying or throwing a fit. The word is "Malcreada" which means "badly made" It's the equivalent of calling someone a brat in english. I've also heard some people say it about family members that don't call as often as the person speaking thinks they should. (Which bugs me in a different way. Phones work 2 ways. I will never understand why people get mad at others for not calling them when they are just as capable of calling but don't) I believe that there is power in the words you speak. I don't tell my children they ARE bad or Brats or anything like that. I tell them their behavior is bad. It's just a slight difference but imagine what a difference it makes. When you tell someone they are bad or mean or rude what do they take away from that? If you tell them they are acting mean or rude or behaving badly that gives them room to adjust their actions.
I have started telling my kids "you are fearfully and wonderfully made" as often as I think about it. I know that I have no control over what other people say to them. But when that person speaks to them I want them to have an overflowing store house of positive reinforcement. I want them to know that God made them just the way they are without hesitation or a second thought. He knew what he was doing and he made them just as they should be. Probably a year ago there was a movie in theaters called "the help" in that movie a maid would tell her charge everyday "you is good, you is kind, you is smart" I loved that. (as did a lot of people from what I understand)
I could totally break out about 50 other verses from the bible about being careful about what you say. Almost all of Proverbs 18 talks about it and there are tons of other places. But I'm just going to leave it at this.
