A few women I know were talking about Valentines day. One of them mentioned that her husband hates valentines day and the best gift she could give him would be to cancel the day (I am totally paraphrasing here) Some of the other women agreed and still others starting talking about how horrible that attitude is. To the best of my knowledge every woman involved wanted to celebrate the holiday. This whole conversation got me thinking. I've heard a lot of men complain about the "pressure" and "commercialization of V-day" but I don't think those guys really think about what their complaints say to the woman in their lives.
The average married woman with children gets officially celebrated about 4 times a year. V-day, mothers day, birthday and anniversary. Yes, there are other holidays that are celebrations and some of those include gifts but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about days where people tell this woman how happy they are that she is around. (in more than one way) Again, I'm talking about the average woman so I am generalizing; but most women spend their whole life taking care of other people, making other people feel important, giving up things she wants/needs for the greater good of her family.
When a man says he hates valentines day no matter how rational a woman tries to be there is a message that comes across to us that goes a little like this. "I don't find you important enough to plan ahead a little. Set aside some money for a gift and a date, make a reservation at a restaurant and take you out." I have heard women say their husbands are just so stressed or money is just so tight or restaurants are just so busy and he hates all that. And as women we all know that if you have no money. none. then you can write a really heart felt letter. If you are bad with words then a woman who loves you will love reading something from you because we know it took a huge effort. If you don't like going to restaurants that are busy, order in and set up something nice at the house.
Here are a few ideas for those of you that are out of practice
~ Take her to dinner and dancing or turn your living room/bedroom into a bistro. Make your bed the table and clean up so that you can dance after dinner and you never even have to leave your room
~ Do research! Find out if there is a restaurant she has always wanted to try or a type of cuisine she loves and you never eat. Find a great place and MAKE RESERVATIONS!
~ Recreate your first date.
~ Buy her flowers. Ask her way ahead of time (like today) what kind of flowers she likes. Not every girl likes roses. (WARNING: if you aren't going to buy flowers don't ask this question right now. It will only set her up for disappointment)
~ If she likes old movies see if there is a revival theater in your area like landmark theatre in river oaks (Houston) they may or may not be showing something old and romantic. If not rent one of those black and white classics she loves and watch it with her. Worst case scenario your bored and she's happy...who knows she might watch sports with you sometime because of this
~ Most theaters show some kind of rom com or girl friendly movie. Let her pick
Girls if you have any other ideas leave them in the comments section! Help the men out
And another thing ladies. If Valentines day is not the perfect fairy tale you envisioned BUT you know your man tried say thank you. Also do your part. Don't make valentines day be all his job. If you want to make something amazing at home let him know you got that part and the rest is up to him. Make valentines day a mutual thing.
I will leave with this. There is a song that is a little old and might seem dated but the overall message is a good reminder for you boys. Read this and think of your wife
She may be weary
Women do get weary
Wearing the same old dress
And when she's weary
Try a little tenderness
She may be waiting
Just anticipating
Things she may never possess
And while she's without them
Try a little tenderness
It's not just sentimental
She has her grief
And her cares
But a word
Soft and gentle
Makes it easier to bear
So much easier to bear
You won't regret it
Women don't forget it
Love is her whole
her whole happiness
And it's all so easy
Just to try a little tenderness
You've gotta try
You've gotta hold 'er
You've got ta squeeze her
You have to try
You've got ta try
And always please her
You won't regret it
You won't regret it
Oh
Try a little tender-ness
can i get a what!what!...love this post. it's true men, get off your ARSE.
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