Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Christmas Spirit

A few days ago Jose and I were at the mall and took a taxi home. The mall was insane with shoppers and getting a taxi felt like an impossible task because so many people were trying to get one. We were on a date and hadn't been shopping so we were pretty relaxed about the whole thing, and finally found one. Jose was making conversation with the driver and mentioned how crazy the mall was. The  driver told us he actually hadn't planned to work that night but a friend needed his help to buy something and he saw the opportunity to make a little extra cash. Then he started complaining about the commercialism of all the people shopping for Christmas and explaining to us how Jesus wasn't born on Christmas anyway. In the end we found out he was a Jehovas witness and doesn't celebrate Christmas or any holiday or birthday (ok, honestly we already knew they don't celebrate anything) I left the cab feeling kind of sad. I mean, he chose that religion and he has chosen not to celebrate any of those things. But the thing that made me sad was how...angry he was about Christmas. I told Jose "I can't imagine a life without celebration" I love celebrating birthdays and holidays. Gifts are my favorite both to give and receive. And even non gifting holidays are so much fun! Holidays mean time with family and friends, yummy food (which is my second love language) and generally a time to relax and enjoy life. I love holidays!

I've had that taxista on my mind a lot though. What he said and how I felt afterwards. I've been thinking about it and I realized that while he was saying what he said because of his religion. I've heard a lot of people say similar things. They celebrate Christmas but they can be rather "bah, humbug" about the whole thing. We get all up in arms and angry at stores for not saying the word "Christmas" I understand the sentiment behind the anger but what if we came at it a different way? What if instead of getting mad and complaining about stores not using the term Christmas, we made a point of showing the employees (who really have no control over company policy) of those stores the meaning of Christmas. Not passive aggressively or pointedly saying "Merry Christmas" but warmly wishing them a Merry Christmas. Being kind and patient with them. Not losing our tempers because whatever we need is out of stock, or not enough registers open, or they let the person with 11 items go through the "10 items or less" register. Even if they don't seem to know what customer service is. Lets not let that be the thing that ruins our days.

 The same thing goes for other shoppers. I joked the other day that there are some fates worse than death and one of them is shopping on the weekends in December. I stood in line for an hour on Saturday because I hadn't planned ahead and I ran out of diapers. I am a person who needs personal space. I don't prefer to have people closer than about a foot  from my body at any given time. It just feels very awkward for me. But God in his infinite wisdom and with his sense of humor. Decided I should live in a place where personal space isn't important to the average person. Especially at grocery stores. If the person behind you has a grocery cart they will make sure it touches your back. If they don't have a cart they will just stand that close to you. I've never been the person standing that close in the behind position so I'm still not sure how they feel comfortable that way but apparently it's just normal. I've found coping mechanisms that help me, like standing in front of my cart in the line so that I can control the distance between me and the people around me. But sometimes I can't do that and if I spend a lot of time crowded like that I get very tense. I have to actively not get upset with the person who keeps accidentally grazing my behind with their hand or ramming my ankles with their cart.

The other area is with family. I have plenty of holiday memories where I felt like X family member "totally ruined Christmas." And I have a tendency to feel a little sad on the holidays that we are over here and so many of the people we love are over there. But that is not what I want my Holiday memories to be like and I don't want my kids to remember me being sad, annoyed or angry on the holidays. So instead of letting other people ruin things. I'm going to modify the adage that "nobody can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission" and say that "nobody can ruin the holidays for you without your permission" I want love and magic and joy on the holidays. I want my kids to grow up thinking that nothing bad can happen on the holidays and even if it does it doesn't have to ruin our fun. I want them to look forward to Christmas music and decorations that make it look like winter even though it's summer here. I want to make up new traditions every year so that you almost can't go a day in December without a tradition for that day. So instead of new years resolutions I have holiday resolutions.
I resolve to not complain about Christmas or any "problems" I encounter related to the holidays. But instead to look for the bright side of things
I resolve to find opportunities to enjoy my family every single day
I resolve to instill in my kids a love for the holidays
I resolve to make up new traditions every year and never let them be stressful but fun.
I resolve not to lose sight of the reason for the holidays. To celebrate the ultimate gift that God gave us. His son Jesus. Without whom we would have no hope.

I know that celebrating Christmas will not make me a "better" Christian. I probably won't change the world by enjoying this time of year. But I can be much more effective at sharing my hope to those around me with a smile on my face than with a frown.    



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