Randomness

A couple weeks ago Jose's computer went to the great apple in the sky. To be honest we were surprised it lasted as long as it did given it needed a new mother board when it was given to us. But now we are down to one computer, mine. I have a tendency to take a million pictures and then each one is precious to me so when I have to delete some I stare at 2 pictures like these

And hitting the delete button is so hard on either one of them. Yeah I know they are almost exactly the same and I even have a preference between the 2 but deleting the other one is hard. 

Something inside of me feels it's cruel to have to delete memories to free up memory. But if I don't we won't be able to function much longer. 

(actually I have been deleting things here and there as sparingly as possible just to make it through, up until now.) 

So I decided instead of leaving all my pictures for just me to enjoy I would post some of the ones that make me smile the most. And no they are not in chronological order. But they are from the past year and a half. Enjoy my randomness

love this face

and this one

Definitely one of the best days of my life.
The day my firstborn was baptized

toe dippin'

My favorite person at my one of my favorite places. The beach.

Logan's first Christmas pageant 

Caleb's 1st birthday

We love you Caleb. Miss you too

Self-portrait Logan loves his sister.

Training our kids early

One of Timothy's (and my) favorite people Ashlynn

One day old and already a mama's girl

He wanted his face painted like a Lego mini figure. lol

I'm not the only person in this house who is wrapped around her finger

She has my eyes

My favorite Pastor

Can you tell she's proud of herself?

So that's kind of like our year in pictures (family only I already transferred all the church pics other places) It's been a busy, hard, but happy and healing year and a half. 

All you need is love

Have you ever been on a roller coaster, gotten to like the crest right before the big drop and you really want to get off but theres no way off? So the only thing you can do is just ride it out and wait until the end even if that means putting your head down and trying to ignore the jerky motions the whole time... That feeling kind of describes what I'm feeling right now. 

In the world, especially the U.S. there are so many situations right now that are "hot button" or controversial and "Christians" are taking both sides of the issues. But love has lost its voice. I'm not saying that we should stop talking, not at all. But there are times where we should listen to Paul's advice to Timothy.

^" Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants."

2 Timothy 2:23-26

Maybe it's just me, But when someone starts yelling at me or saying awful things in an angry way I either walk away, curl up in a ball or block them out (mentally or literally) But if someone I disagree with presents their thoughts in a kind, "I still love you if you choose not to agree with me" way I'm way more likely to consider their point of view. 

It's easy to search scripture and find verses about loving each other. But this is probably the best one to me. 

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.

And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first. 1 John 4:7-19

I'm so tired of hearing about people who walked away from Christ because of the Christians. Truthfully I almost was one of those people. What do we gain by being hateful? I'm a southern girl so I'm going to play that card and use a good old southern idiom here. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. So why are we throwing vinegar everywhere? Life is hard and we were meant to build each other up. Not tear each other down. 

So I'm offering you a challenge. Show love. Next time someone posts something on Facebook that makes you angry, do what your mama taught you. If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. Next time you see someone walking down the street that you believe is living life the wrong way give them a hug and tell them Jesus loves them (or if you can't do that just smile) We might now change the world or our city or even everyone we know doing this. But what if we did? What if you could "be the change you want to see in the world" 

What if all we need is love?  

Happy Birthday Timothy

In our home birthday season is February-June. We start with Caleb in February then it's Zoe in March, Jose & Logan in April, Me in May and finally Timothy in June. 

 Logan and Tim had been planning this birthday party since Logans birthday ended. One of our friends from church actually told me her son came home with a handmade invitation to Tims party at "the robot restaurant" (a restaurant with a play area that looks like a robot) a few weeks before his birthday. He's proactive like that. 

He always surprises me with the way he thinks. After Zoe was born he told me he couldn't touch her because he would get sick. Later I realized he meant she would get sick. He treats her like a precious relic and takes a very strong "look but don't touch" stance about his sister. At least once a day he gets angry at Logan for touching the baby without washing his hands first. 

Timothy is the most affectionate kid in the family right now. He always starts the morning by walking into my room and giving me a hug. Any time he leaves the house as soon as he gets back he looks for me to give me a hug. That's just a given.  

He is stubborn. While I think this is ultimately a good quality it creates lots of

opportunities for mommy humility. Like when he decides to go on strike and not speak spanish.

He is amazingly creative. For the last few years he has been very interested in movie end credits. 

It's hilarious to us that he will watch the beginning and end of any movie he can his hands on 

but isn't all that interested in the actual feature. 

He also loves Lego's. 

He spends hours building movie credits or movie theaters

He says he wants to be an architect or a movie producer when he grows up.

Timothy, you are and always will be baby mine. (even though I won't call you that after you hit puberty) I love you from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. I hope you always know that you are loved and cherished by me and daddy. 

We are proud of you and excited to see what you do this year. I'm sure it will be surprising and amazing!

I love you!

Mommy

someday we'll laugh about this

I'm sure you've heard someone say "someday we'll laugh about this" maybe you've even said it yourself. 

A few days ago we had a mid-week servolution. We went to this area called "El Indio" and gave clothes and shoes away in a school.

so many clothes were donated by people in our church! it was awesome

one of the kids peeking through the broken door while we set up

this little guy was so sweet, he kept asking me to take his picture

Waiting to pick something out

It was a great day and we got to help a lot of people. It broke my heart to see some of the people looking for something for their kids and happily taking newborn size clothes for their toddler or boy clothes for their girls. Really they took what we had because at least it was something. 

One of the little girls came in at the end when we had barely anything left and she took clothes for her baby sibling and shoes for her mom. She didn't want anything for herself. 

the team

We always leave these time elated and exhausted. It's a lot of work ya'll! 

We were in an area where there aren't a lot of taxis and it's at least 2 miles to the street 

where you can pick one up. 

Out of all the people working we had one car between us...ours.

Now, our car was given to us when we first got to Peru. 

It has been through a lot, we have loaded it down with people many times. 

(I should add there are no laws about seatbelts in the back seat and the speed limit in piura is something like 30 mph) 

This time it was a little trickier than normal since we had 7 adults, 2 children 1 infant with a car seat, a stroller and about 5 folding chairs. (plus all the stuff that was in the car before we started)  

Somehow we managed to all fit inside our car. 

We got most of the way home when the car started to stall out. 

This happens sometimes...

well, a lot...

ok, lets be real it happens every time we drive the car.

So nobody worried, Jose just put the car in neutral and tried to restart it. 

Did I mention we were on a bridge? 

Yeah, that.

So anyway, the car does what it always does. It makes it's little pre-starting noise

kind of like this "ngggngnngngngnng" but it never turns over. 

We have been coasting this whole time which seems like it was maybe an hour but was probably a lot more like 5 minutes. People just pass us and keep going. That's Peru for you. Nobody is fazed in the least by the dying car full of people.

Right about now I was thanking Jesus that we had a car full of grown ups, 3 of whom were men. 2 of them jumped out and started pushing until we got off the bridge then Jose jumped out and did the push and steer until we got to a "parking lot" (more like a parking space) on the side of the road.

From here we all went our separate ways. The plan was to get a mechanic to come look at it (tow trucks are not the norm here.) So we got a Taxi to go home. 

We got home and paid the Taxi driver with the only money we had between us.

It was a counterfeit bill, we didn't know. 

Thankfully, Logan has a piggybank and is a saver. 

We paid the Taxi driver. 

Peru is not exactly a country where urgency exists. Mechanics work certain hours no more, no less.

So our car had to spend the night on the side of the road. 

The next morning Jose went to try to figure out what to do about our sad little car. 

This story just writes itself.

Someone broke the window and stole everything inside, 

from the phone charger plugged into the cig. lighter to the toolbox in the trunk. 

Even Logan's Astros cap (but they left his shoes...can't say that I blame them, those things are toxic) 

We finally got the car to the mechanic (I'm not even gonna' tell y'all how. Some things are just too hard to believe if you don't live here) 

The car won't start, that's true, but theres nothing wrong with it. 

It just doesn't want to work anymore.

 It just turned 30 maybe it's having a midlife crisis? 

I guess it lost it's will to live. 

Now, I would love to tell you I responded at each step with some of the grace that Job had when he lost his stuff. 

I sound so spiritual and wise right?

 But seriously Job may have temporarily reacted with grief but in the next verse he's all 

well I came into this world naked I guess that's how I'll leave. 

!

(warning, do not read this next paragraph if you like thinking I'm perfect and selfless. 

It might ruin things for you) 

Nope, that's not me. I had a nice little pity party. 

I don't love that car I actually have been praying we could get rid of it and get one that is a little more reliable. You know little things like not stalling every time we drive it.

A working air conditioner too.. Those are my top 2 requests. But I digress. 

I started telling God all the things we have done for him. 

I'm all, we left our friends and family and church God. 

We came here were we have no guaranteed paycheck.

We've given so much  

We built this thing you told us to, 

we've been obedient and we were actually driving home from helping people when this happened. 

It's not fair! Why do selfish people get nice cars and we are giving everything just to drive this car that needs to be pushed 90% of the time. (yeah, I'm not selfish *rolling my eyes at myself*)

Then this thing happened. I don't know how to explain it.

 It wasn't instant but it did happen. I stopped caring.  

I started thinking about the lady with a baby that took the outfit that Zoe grew out of for her child who was clearly older than Zoe. 

She actually smiled when she picked it up like it was the cutest thing she had ever seen, and it was hers.  

The baby is on the right (her mom has the sleeper in her hand)

I thought of the pregnant woman who made a beeline for the baby clothes pile and 

I remember how I had to get rid of some of the clothes I was given for Zoe 

because she was given so much and I couldnt bring it all.

I think about the basket of baby clothes I have. Full of stuff that fits my little one.

The other basket with stuff for her to grow into.

And then I told someone else the story of the car. 

I laughed. I kept laughing. My "someday I'll laugh" happened today. 

I joked "next time I'll be more specific when I pray we can get rid of something" 

God answered my prayer. Ok, so we don't have another car. 

Yes our car is basically worthless now. 

But is that a surprise to God?

Is that more than he can handle?

Is that the worst thing that has ever happened to me?

No, no, no. 

The theme of my life seems to be letting go of control. 

Letting God be in control and not freaking out when I'm surprised.

Sometimes I get it right but most of the time I don't.

Most of the time I freak out.

I'm a control freak. 

I "need to know" what is going to happen. 

 Someday I'll learn.

By the way, does anyone want to buy a "classic car" for display only? 

it needs one new window

 

 

9 years!

Nine years ago today I married this guy. 

Since then life has been crazy, hectic, happy, sad, adventurous and beautiful.

Being married to him has taught me so much about love. 

Saying "I love you" is wonderful, but acting out "I love you" is 100 times better.

Love is a verb. It's taking care of the kids when I'm not feeling well. Or choosing to see the romantic comedy because the movie we watch is not what matters its who he's watching the movie with that matters. 

Love can be seen in the easy times but when life gets hard love makes it easier to walk through.

Love is full of surprises.

Love is fun but sometimes it's hard.

Dr Cole says that Marriage can be the closest thing to heaven or hell in this life. 

I got heaven 

Jose you are

the pickles to my ice cream

the milky to my way

the peanut butter to my jelly

the cheese to my macaroni

the flip to my flop

the blue to my sky

the cherry to my sundae

the han solo to my princess leia

my best friend 

and the love of my life

I love you