Trust & Obey

Lately I've had so much I want to talk about that I get on here start writing and get distracted by my other thoughts. So I have to put the computer down and walk away to regroup. (I'm sure the 3 people that read this are very happy to know that lol)

Anyway I have really been thinking about obedience lately. I'm regularly finding myself telling Logan to do something simple like pick up his toys or put on his shoes or any number of random little things and coming up against the evil question"WHY?" not that I'm against telling him why his toys should be put away or his shoes should be on or he should not eat the thing he picked up off the ground. It's just that while I'm answering him he is not doing what I asked him to do, he usually has follow up why's and yes, it comes to the point that he forgot what I asked him to do. So once its explained I have to start the whole process again. Sometimes I wish I could explain to him (in a way he really would understand) that when I ask him to put on his shoes 9 times out of 10 his shoes need to go on so we can do something he likes. Go to the park, library, church, get a watermelon slush, something. If he would just obey me the first time I ask I would be so much more willing to take him places like the park or the library because he has proven that he can be obedient in the small things even if he doesn't know why.

I look at myself and my highly doubtful, questioning nature and I realize most of the time when God (or my husband...ouch) ask me to do something I want to ask them "WHY?" I'm a person who likes to have a plan and understand the reasons, the processes, the beginning from the end, all of it. I don't do well with reasons like "just because" or "just do what I'm asking you and you will find the benefits later" the phrase Obedience is better than sacrifice stings me almost everytime because I would rather make sacrifices than be uncomfortable or do something I don't understand or want to do.

 The other night Jose and I were talking with one of the guys he mentors. The guy asked why he needs to do something not in a rebellious way just in a "tell me again so I know why I'm working so hard for this" way. We gave him some answers and I just kind of blurted out "Really, you don't need to know why. You just need to do it." Yikes! I think back on some things I've said to people in moments of counseling and ministry and I realize it's all for me. God always gives me words for people that also apply to me even when it applies to me in a completely different situation.

I'm also learning that when you are obedient to God and the things he tells you there are always friends (sometimes...usually Christians) that don't understand and question you again and again. Making it even more difficult to do what God told you to do. I'll give you an example of something in my life right now. In our preparations for Peru we have been getting rid of *stuff* lots and lots of stuff (it's kind of a relief to be loosing so much clutter from our lives) Very well meaning friends and family have encouraged us to sell our stuff to pay for part of the trip or replace the stuff when we get to Peru something along those lines. We have considered it but we both know deep down that God told us to give it away. I'm not going to lie, my natural mind does start thinking "but if we sold this we could get at least $$$ for it which would buy xyz and that would be so much easier than just trusting God to provide it" Yes, it's easy to think that way and hard to explain the other way of thinking but in the end all God is asking us to do is trust Him and obey what he's asked us to do (hmm that sounds familiar)

So here we go. I'm trusting God and doing what he told me to do.

Enjoying my kids

I have given myself a challenge recently to just enjoy my kids. I mean I know we all hear it again and again. "enjoy them while they are little because they grow up before you know it" It's fine to hear it but actually doing it is where I find the challenge. Not that I don't love or like my kids. It's just that I get so wrapped up in getting things done (and often keeping the kids alive) that I find it difficult to just play with them and ignore the giant mess in the other room. Out of sight out of mind does not apply to me. I can tell you at any given moment which room(s) in my house are messy and what steps I need to take to get in back in order...(ocd much? Yes, but not enough to keep it all in order. It's a vicious cycle) I have learned that I can either have fun with my kids or have a clean house. It would be great if I could have both but it just doesn't happen here. (Judge away I know I'm not perfect)

So now you get to hear (read?) how great my kids are.
Logan loves everybody. He really loves Jesus and loves the bible (he has 2 verses memorized and loves to recite them) He prays all the time for a little sister. He even has names picked out for the sister that he is praying for. One day he was fighting with Timothy and I told him maybe we shouldn't have anymore brothers or sisters if he couldn't love the one he has. He cried for a long time while I tried to explain to him the principle of being faithful with a little and God will give you a lot. The next day (and ever since then actually) he was so sweet to his brother. When we picked him (timothy) up from sunday school Logan said "hey T! did you have a good time? and gave him a big hug. It melted my heart. He loves Thomas the train and super heroes. He loves gifts and will be very thankful when we give him a gift, even clothing. When he puts on clothes he asks me who gave him his shirt etc... once I tell him he remembers forever and mentions it every time he wears the item. He is my sweet heart. He is so excited to go to Peru and is really interested in Spanish. He constantly asks me how to say certain words in spanish. When we move there we plan to get a dog and he pretends to have a dog now so he can practice. (guess who's dog it will be?) When he grows up he wants to be a dad. We told him he has to get married first so he is currently on the search for a wife.

Timothy thinks a lot. He is the child that every day I think he will grow up to be something different. Most of the time I think he will be an engineer or something to do with electronics because the boy can figure out how to work anything he wants to. (even Logan asks him for help with turning things on and stuff like that) Other times I think he will grow up to be a worship leader. One night Jose was at a campout and T got in bed with me at 4am. He couldn't sleep and started singing "Yo Te Busco" (A spanish worship song) very loudly. His favorite part of movies is the credits because he likes to dance and watch the words. He can't read (that I know of ;-) but he will look through books with words and no pictures as if he is reading every word. In fact books are his favorite toy. He loves to look at books and for me or Jose to read to him. He thinks Logan is the most amazing person in the world. If I want him to do something all it takes usually is for me to get Logan to do it. T will do everything he can to be like Logan. He's usually shy around new people or in unusual situations but once he's comfortable you better be ready he will talk your ear off and sing at the top of his lungs the whole time. He's not usually cuddly, but when he is it's the best! He's not exactly like me but I see a lot of myself in him.

I thank God for my children they teach me so much everyday. They are amazing and I'm humbled that God trusted me with such special little people. I pray I will always be everything they need me to be and where I fail I pray that God will fill in the gaps for them. Pray for me ya'll I've got a big job ahead of me

I have decided

My head feels like it is about to explode! Jose and I spent the past week in Baton Rouge, LA at Bethany World Prayer Center (a church) They have a yearly conference called The Remnant and it was amazing! I have been to a lot (and I do mean a lot) of conferences and this was the best I can remember attending. The speakers were Dag Heward-Mills (google him he will blow your mind!) Dino Rizzo, Robert Morris, Pastor Larry Stockstill, Pastor Joel Stockstill and Jonathon Stockstill.

I will probably be talking about stuff I learned/heard at the conference for a long time but there is something that God stirred in me when I was there that I feel I should mention here. I have been softening and in a way apologizing for the call for us to go to Peru. I've told people that it's just like parts of America and we won't be in a dangerous area etc... I've said those things for a good reason I think but in reality I shouldn't have said that at all.
Matthew 10:38 If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me you are not worthy of being mine
Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to his disciples "if any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me"
The cross = suffering I know this and I have known this. Ministry isn't easy. Ministry in a foreign country is really not easy and yes we could die or get seriously injured/sick etc... I am prepared for that (as much as I can be) Something Dag Heward-Mills said stuck with me though. He talked about the way Muslims are willing to die for what they believe in. Even though they are portrayed as villians there are more and more people becoming muslim. Because people are willing to follow something if other people are willing to die for it. American Christians generally aren't willing to die for their faith. So here I am saying I don't think I'm going to die by going to Peru. I don't have a death wish either. I hope to live a long and useful (to Christ) life. But if I die I hope that I will glorify God in my death as much if not more than in my life.
Matthew 16:25-26 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?

I have decided to follow Jesus...no turning back, no turning back

A Happy Marriage Is A Long Conversation That Always Seems Too Short

Ok, so I know it's kind of overly obvious to blog about your love around valentines day. But I figure I waited until after valentines so I'm doing pretty good.

I say a lot that Jose is my best friend and he is. There is no one I feel more at home with. No one I would rather bum around with and no one I would rather go through rough times with.

"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip"

                                                                              ~Jonathan Carroll

I think that statement is funny but in reality I don't really think it's love that doesn't laugh when you trip. Love is the making sure you are ok before they laugh and then laughing with you (not at you). Everyone trips especially in relation to love but when you have made a decision to love no matter how you feel; and learn to laugh together about the tripping that sometimes occurs. That is a pretty good start. I'm not going to preach about marriage because honestly most of you that read this know way more about marriage than I do. But I've been feeling all mushy about love and the guy I choose to do life with so I wanted to say something about it...(besides this is MY blog...I can talk about whatever I want ha ha ha)

I will leave you with this 

"Nothing can match the treasure of common memories, of trials endured together, of quarrels and reconciliations and generous emotions."

~ Antoine De Saint-Exupery

"The true measure of loving...is to love without measure"

~ Bernard of Clairvaux

"Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, The last of life for which the first was made."

 ~ Robert Browning

What are some of your favorite quotes/sayings about love? (I love quotes lol)   

Who's Your Daddy?

I love watching little children play with their daddy. The air is filled with screams of delight and "daddy look!" "daddy, watch me!" "come here daddy!" In a child’s mind their daddy was made entirely for their pleasure. Those same children live to see their daddy smile and to make him proud. The statements "daddy watch me" could easily be exchanged for. "do I make you proud?" Every child asks their parent that almost every day.


It doesn't take a lot of time talking to people to know that people are hurt by their parents. Even good parents do damage to their children without meaning to or trying. So whether your father/mother did unimaginable things to you as a child/adult or didn't answer your question correctly, or anything and everything in between. Chances are you have a father wound. I can't say that I have concrete world statistics but I will say that I randomly asked 10 people if they have ever been hurt by their father in any way. All ten said yes. (to be fair they were all women, I don't know if the results would be different if I had asked men too) Wow. That is so sad.

No wonder we have a hard time as a society and as individuals to see God being our father as a good thing. In our world today dad's are too busy for us, we don't live up to their expectations, or they just don't care about us. Most Christians treat God like that is how he is too. I've heard people say "God has more important things to deal with than to worry about my health/grades/family" But the thing is he doesn't. Matthew10:29-31 says "Two sparrows cost only a penny, but not even one of them can fall without your Father's knowing it. God even knows how many hairs are on your head. So don't be afraid. You are worth much more than many sparrows."

Here are some more things you should know about God

Psalm 139:13-16 says
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day

and Isaiah 43:1-4
"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.
I've called your name. You're mine.
When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.
When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you're between a rock and a hard place,
it won't be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That's how much you mean to me!
That's how much I love you!
I'd sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.

Does that sound like someone who would let you down? Or be to busy for you?
He's not! He is the only one that will never leave you or forsake you or let you down.

He is waiting for us to look for him. He longs for us to say "watch me daddy!" to say "Sit next to me, I just want to talk to you. To hear what you think of me" "You are my hero!" All you have to do is be like a little child and let him be your daddy.

So let me ask you again. Who's your daddy?