A day I thought would never come

The average christian parent has certain expectations or at least assumptions that they live with. One of them being that their children will be christians and get baptized or follow whatever example they set. Even so those parents are thrilled and excited when the expectations are met. A child coming to christ is a huge celebration and the same can be said of baptism. However sometimes there is a kink. Some reason why you might set your expectations aside. For example you might have a child who has sensory issues and can't stand the idea of water on his head because it might get into his eyes. For a child like that the idea of putting your head under water for any reason sounds like a really horrible idea. (and that's putting it mildly.)

I just described Timothy. Logan is the one who led Timothy to the Lord and ever since then has been trying to talk him into getting baptized (Did I ever mention that 3 different people who don't know each other or me prophesied that Logan was going to be like John the baptist while I was pregnant with him?) Sometime last week while Jose was talking about this baptism service Timothy volunteered to be baptized. I wasn't there so when Jose mentioned it I looked something like this

I should mention that Jose and I have different kinds of faith. When we have no money or are getting close. I have gotten to a place where I just expect God to take care of it. While Jose does a lot of math. I know he's worried about money when I find sheets of paper with numbers scribbled all over them. I on the other hand really struggle to have faith that everything will work out with Timothy. In my heart I know that God is taking care of it (just like Jose knows that God will take care of our finances) But when I'm looking at it day in and out it gets easy to think that he will always be set in whatever particular way he's currently set in and will never change. But Jose doesn't have that problem. He pushes him and believes he can and will get and be better than what he settles for currently. So, I admit, I got annoyed with Logan for continuing to ask. I even told him that Timothy would do it when he was ready (which was true) but I realize now that he needed that peer pressure from his brother to recognize the importance of making that decision. 

We asked him several times if he was sure he wanted to do it. Jose mentioned it every day this week and every day Timothy affirmed that yes, he wanted to be baptized. I let him wear his swim trunks to church and he was dressed before we woke up actually. He wanted to do it first thing when we got there but alas, he had to wait. 

He literally buzzed with excitement all through church. He sat with me and kept humming and clapping and asking me when he would get to be baptized. Then the moment came. He was by the pool the second they announced it. 

I love the progression of these photos. You can see how happy and excited he is and when he comes out of the water you can see how much he hates the water in his eyes.

I have been a mess all day. A happy mess. Every time I think about it I start to tear up and think about how good God is and how proud I am of Timothy. He may not act or think like most kids his age. But he has a very real relationship with God that he is working out in his own way. 

Today my son inspired me and showed me that he (and everybody really) has the ability to push through his discomfort and obey what God is telling him to do.  

And he did it with a joyful attitude.  

He was excited about being uncomfortable.

I wonder, when was the last time you got excited about being uncomfortable?  

so, not to be awkward but...

When I was a kid my parents put me in girl scouts a few different times. I'm a total introvert. Like for real. Making new friends is almost painful for me because I don't hit my stride until I've known someone for like 5 years. (just kidding...not really) That's why I had about 5 friends as a kid and I still know all of them. So I guess my parents thought I would meet more people if I was a part of girls scouts. The problem was for me, aside from the fact that I was painfully shy, I had to sell stuff. Stuff I didn't really believe in. Magazine subscriptions? nobody buys those from girl scouts but family members who feel guilty. Wrapping paper? again, just why? Even cookies were hard for me and those babies sell themselves.  (I mean it didn't help that there was a girl scout troop leader on our street so her daughter had the jump on me when it came to sales.)

So deep down inside I still feel like the 10 year old girl when I have to ask something like I'm about to ask. Only this time I believe in what I'm asking for. We came to Peru almost 4 years ago and at that time we did what all missionaries do. We traveled around and told people our vision and asked if they wanted to be involved. We did gain a lot of great support from that time and it has been so much help. But things happen and so sometimes our support base isn't able to come through with the full amount that we need to survive. When that happens we spend a lot of time in prayer (and fasting) for God to come through. This time God told me to do something that scares me a lot. He told me to share our need and ask you for help. 

~When we came to Peru we were a family of 4 and 2 of us were tiny and shared everything including clothes. Now we are a family of 5 and the 2 previously tiny ones are almost as tall as me and both can and often do out eat me. They also seem to grow out of their clothes and shoes when I blink. The newest tiny is still pretty tiny but seems to be on miracle grow and alas has no older sister to receive hand me downs from.  These things have raised our living expenses substantially. 

~The cost of living is rising here. In Houston our single family home with a yard cost us the same as our condo style (shared walls with neighbors on both sides) home with a "jardin" (Peru code for patio) here in Piura. Gas is about $5 a gallon. We don't have a car currently but anywhere we go costs us about $5 to go and come back. 

~Fluctuating exchange rates. We always do our best to find the most beneficial exchange rate. But sometimes there's nothing we can do. The amount we actually receive can vary by as much as $500 just because of how much the exchange rate is cutting off.

~Visas. To live here we have to have visas. Right now we need $700 to renew our visas and get Zoe one of her own.  

~Finally, this month our support is at about 1/4 what we usually get. When the full amount is already spreading thin I'm sure you can imagine what it's like when it's down by 3/4. 

Now If I could I would be at the local polleria applying for a job waiting tables or anything like that to help make ends meet. But unfortunately I don't have permission from this country to earn money here. So I'm asking you to make an investment into us and the work we are doing here. 

If you go to our home church or would like to make a tax deductible donation go here You can even set up a recurring donation if you want to.  Just make sure to direct it to Missions. Missions= US Jose and Kathryn we are the missionaries our church supports. =)

If you don't go to our home church and don't care about tax deductions you can give to us through paypal ~ jkmission2peru@gmail.com if you click that you are sending money to family or friends we pay much lower fees which means we get more of the money you send v. paypal getting it ;) 

If you don't like either of those options but still want to send us money you can email me at jkmission2peru@gmail and I will talk to you about the other options. *You can also email me there if you just want to say hey, I'm an introvert but I like email ;)  

Honestly I've had people give me $5 and say "sorry it's not much". To any of you who are thinking that I just want to say $5 (or .5) is that much more than we have today. It might not seem like much to you but for us it could mean the difference between having lunch or not. And if you can't send any money don't worry! Pray for us. Pray that God would provide our needs. Pray that the exchange rate stays in our favor. Pray that my children's clothes grow with them ;)  Your prayers have brought us this far and I know that God is able and faithful to do the rest. 

Finally, thank you. Without you all we couldn't do what we do. We love seeing what God is doing here and it's because of your partnership.  As Paul said "I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now," ~Philippians 1:3-5

Hero

It's important to be careful about who you allow to be a hero in your life. Humans are human and will make human choices. This is why no matter how much I admire someone I am very careful to say they are my hero. That said, one person I have always had as a hero in my life is a woman named Elisabeth Elliot. There are many reasons I have always looked up to her and yet I hadn't thought about it in a long time. I was reminded this week. In case you don't know who she is I'll tell you. She was a missionary in Ecuador and married to Jim Elliot. When their daughter was 10 months old Jim Elliot was killed by the very people he went to serve. This has made him a legend, and someone many people I know look up to. I look up to him too, but I think his wife Elisabeth is the real hero of the story. After he died she went to live in the village with the people that killed him for 2 years. I had forgotten that all this happened in Ecuador the country a few hours north of us. Which makes it even more personal and relatable to me. I have been places she has probably been. I don't know that I could have chosen to do what she did. I know now a similar grief from losing my son of natural causes. But I can't imagine how much more difficult it would be to continue living among and working with people that chose to murder my husband. She is a hero to me.

I was reminded of her story because I keep hearing allusions to and speculations that I will go home because of Caleb's death. So I just want to clear something up. When I was 13 years old God called me to missions. It took me 15 years to get here but here I am. His call has not changed. I can't think of anything worse than to walk away from my passion, my life work on top of losing my son. If there has ever been something I feel like I can be proud of about myself it's that no matter what has happened to me in my life I have never been one to give up.  I don't quit. 

I was looking at a bunch of quotes from Elisabeth Elliot and she said a couple things that stood out to me

“This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God’s way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness.” 

“Does it make sense to pray for guidance about the future if we are not obeying in the thing that lies before us today? How many momentous events in Scripture depended on one person's seemingly small act of obedience! Rest assured: Do what God tells you to do now, and, depend upon it, you will be shown what to do next.” 

“Faith's most severe tests come not when we see nothing, but when we see a stunning array of evidence that seems to prove our faith vain.”

“To be a follower of the Crucified means, sooner or later, a personal encounter with the cross. And the cross always entails loss.”

“Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering. The love of God is of a different nature altogether. It does not hate tragedy. It never denies reality. It stands in the very teeth of suffering. The love of God did not protect His own Son. It was the proof of His love – that He gave that Son, that He let Him go to Calvary’s cross, though “legions of angels” might have rescued Him. He will not necessarily protect us- not from anything it takes to make us like His Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process.”

I want to be like her. One thing I can say is I agree with her about everything. I'm still not happy about Caleb's death and I doubt I will ever be happy about it. But I know it was for my good. I know that God still has a plan for me and I will not allow the enemy to put this in his victory column. I am going to do as Paul said in Hebrews 12

 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.

I've said many times that I believe the safest place to be is in the center of God will. But I am going to expand that. The best place to be is in the center of God's will. It's better to be in the center of Gods will and in a 3rd world country than in the comforts of the United States. My life can be taken. My children's lives can be taken. It might be the hardest thing I ever have to do but until God tells me something different this is where I'm supposed to be.

When I die I wil answer to God for the choices I make. So I have chosen to follow him no matter where he leads me. No matter how hard that road is. No matter who disagrees or rejects me. 

How Much is Enough

This morning I have been meditating in the word and saw something that really spoke to me. 1timothy 6:9-10 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. Wow, how much is enough and where does it end? Do we give God Glory with everything that we own or do we say this is for God and this is for me and my selfishness. Please understand that God does give us possessions for our enjoyment and to spread his kingdom. Do you desire to be rich? Well then this is what you should expect. 1)temptations--not that we don't already have temptations, but the ones that get you in debt, distracted, and are selfish. 2) a snare--simply a trap. We fill our houses with things to make us feel great or buy things to impress others or think we need, but it's all a trap because in the end none of these things work. 3)foolish and harmful lusts--what we see and think we need, the latest this, that or the other. Foolish, the word in proverbs refers many times acting like a child and in all the cases they do not enter the presence of God. 4) to drown in destruction and perdition-- think about it, if you desire to be rich you will be drowned in destruction and perdition. Your destiny is not heaven it is torment and everlasting hell. Jesus told his men, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” (Mark 10:25 NKJV) 5) the love of money has strayed them from the faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. Do you desire to be rich then expect the piercings of being filled with grief. It comes down to greediness. The question again is, how much is enough? How many cars are enough, how many houses are enough, how many shoes are enough, how many dogs are enough, how many tv's are enough, how much jewelry is enough, how many guns are enough, how many games are enough, how much ______ (fill in the blank) is enough? Please let me help you to understand that it's not that God will not provide for you. It is not that wealth means you are evil or even having money makes you evil. Listen to this verse. Mark 10:29-30 NKJV So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life. But the key is this. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:33 NKJV) Please listen to what I'm about to say and examine yourself. I have to daily because I have been blessed to have lived in a great country where we have a buffet of liberty and choices and selection of commerce and opportunity to live the American dream. If you make more than $2 a day you are richer than 1/3 of the world. That sounds crazy. You may step outside of your house and maybe not believe it, but you are. I am not saying giving your money to the poor is your ticket into heaven, works can't do it for you; only Christ, his blood and him crucified. If you think about it and look around your house you are probably like most of us and see you got more junk and stuff you don't use and probably pay storage fees for things you will not go through again. God has blessed us to be a blessing to others. Show that today. What can you do with what you already have to change this world and to bring the gospel to the at least 4.5 billion of people who don't know Christ. That is 4,500,000,000 people! It is our responsibility to do it.

JOSE

Awake

Our church here in Lima is participating in Awake 21 a worldwide multi church fasting campaign. If you would like more information or to join in go to http://www.awake21.org/

Most churches begin the year with a fast of some sort. At least the churches I've been a part of for most of my life. There was a time when I saw church wide fasts as a sort of ritual with no real power. But the past several years I have changed my mind. I've learned that there is a beautiful unity that comes from fasting as a church. Psalm 133:1 says "Behold! How good and how pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in unity." Unity is a beautiful thing and it's an important thing. If as men and women of God we can bring ourselves together with the same purpose. We can accomplish great things.
 As I write that I'm reminded of a passage of scripture in Genesis where the people are united and they begin to talk about becoming great, so they decide to build a tower that reaches into the heavens. We often quote that verse (Genesis 11:6) that nothing they purpose to do will be impossible because they are united. I've heard people say that God confused the people's language because he did not want them to be working together. But that is not the point at all. The whole problem with their unity in this story is found in verse 4 they say "Come lets build a great city for ourselves with a tower that reaches into the sky. In that way we will make ourselves famous..." The reasoning behind their unity is wrong. They wanted to make themselves famous. (I guess you could say they got their wish. The tower of babel was never completed but the fact that we know about it now makes it seem pretty famous to me.)
So why is it important for Christians to have unity? the answer can be found in John 17:20-24
 “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me. “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me. Father, I want these whom you have given me to be with me where I am. Then they can see all the glory you gave me because you loved me even before the world began!

So I set out to blog about fasting and ended up talking about unity. Maybe someone needed to see this. Whatever it is, if you are like I used to be and don't see the point of fasting as a church, I hope this will help you reconsider. I have seen God move in my life in powerful ways through fasting as a church.

Confession of a "Missionary"

Ok, so something has been bugging me ever since I found out I was supposed to be a missionary. I grew up reading biography's of amazing men and women of God. People like George Mueller, Amy Carmichael, Mother Theresa and Hudson Taylor. Those people were MISSIONARIES! I am not those people!
If I were catholic those people would be like saints to me. I mean in my mind you become a missionary you automatically know stuff. You obviously never sin (or think about sinning) and never, ever doubt. Obedience to God should come naturally and if you are not out helping out the poor and downtrodden you are probably just chillin' in your prayer closet or memorizing Leviticus (because you already memorized all the "easy" books)
Maybe I'm the only person who thinks like that. Actually, I know I'm not but someone has to say something. We have to stop the insanity!
So anyway, here I am minding my own business serving God. And we are so cool like that. I'm all, "where you go I'll go what you say I'll say God. What you pray I'll pray" and then I hear "really?" and I say "I can't hear you right now, I'm worshipping you. Can you see me here worshipping? you really shouldn't..., you know..., interrupt" Then I wait a second thinking I've got him there. Because when God says "really?" you can't say no, but it can be so scary to say yes.  So I try to pretend like I never heard the question. You know? I think for a little while that maybe God forgot that I had even said I would go where he goes and say what he says. But it's always there. This sensation in my chest like my heart will explode whenever I hear about "missions". This bizarre sense of jealousy when I hear other missionaries talking about their experiences. The way my eyes want to cry when I see pictures of unloved and abandoned children. But deep down inside I know. I know that I'm not good enough to be a missionary. I mean, there are a million ways I can think of off the top of my head that make me a horrible choice as a missionary. I get jealous. I have been known to lose my temper. I'm terribly selfish, I really like long hot showers with good water pressure and while I'm being honest. It is REALLY hard to trust God. I mean it's the easiest thing to say, but I cannot tell you how many times I have gotten irritated with people because they tell me to trust God. When all I can see is the ocean in front of me and the army behind me, coming to bring me back to Egypt. What kind of missionary would I make?

Then I decide to try something new. I say yes. YES! I will be a missionary...some day. I mean, I just had a baby and Jose is loving what he's doing and we bought a house. I mean now is just NOT the time. But you know in a few years. When we are ready. Then we will be missionaries.
Of course as you may already know God had already been working on Jose's heart. He had his own conversations with God. So we talked about it. I was settled on it, and I was starting to want to be a missionary. But there was still that feeling in my chest that would tense up and the voice in my head saying "YOU ARE CRAZY!!!!!! WHAT are you thinking? What about the showers? What about your friends and family? what if you DIE?"

Years passed. Jose and I grew in our relationship with God. We went through some trials that helped us to learn about trusting God. We went through some times of intense discipleship. We got a lot of time working "in the kitchen" at our church. And then almost as if Jose and I had been listening to the same song and it was just coming to the crescendo we both knew. We needed to go and we needed to go now. So we talked to our pastor about it and he said to go visit. We flew out to Peru for 2 weeks and fell in love. When we came we thought ok, we will go get our checkmark that we went and then go back to our regularly scheduled lives. But no. We got here and we knew we needed to be here.

The next year was spent preparing. Raising support. Getting rid of stuff. Trying to get ready to come back. We said to good bye, to family, friends, our church, and our water pressure. Then we boarded a plane and we went, this time it was to stay.

So now we are here. We live in Peru. I obeyed. I'm a "missionary". But, I still don't feel like a missionary. I'm still selfish, I still get angry and jealous. I still miss my shower. I don't have the bible memorized and I struggle to spend enough time in prayer. Obedience and trusting God still don't come naturally. I often freak out because I don't know what God is planning and it seems like he will never tell me. When I hear the term "missionary" in my head the definition is "perfect christian, self sacrificing, never does anything wrong because they are too busy serving the Lord to mess up." When in reality a missionary is really nothing more than a christian. Someone who loves God. Trying to work out their salvation just like any other christian. I'm still not "good enough" to be a missionary. I'm not good enough to be a christian either. Nothing I do will make me good enough. But that's not the point. Nothing any of those other missionaries did made them good enough either. They just had to make a choice. Every christian has a choice to make every day. Whether they are a Pastor, a missionary, a plumber, a stay at home mom or whatever. We have to choose to answer the call that God gives us. And let him be good enough. If I was good enough on my own I would not need God. But I NEED Him.  Everyday I'm reminded how much I need Him.

So my call is missionary. I'm almost used to being called that. Almost. What is your call? What is it that God is asking you to do that you can't do on your own? It might feel weird at first. It might not fit just right when you first try it on. But if you trust Him. If you are "confident that God, who began the good work in you will be faithful to continue the work until it is finally finished on the day that Jesus Christ comes" (Philippians 1:6) He will.

What else can I say? God is good! - an update on us

Jose is out right now taking the men from Houston to the airport. We had fun seeing our friends and Pastor this week. The came for the "Salvamos A La Familia" (saving the family) conference that La Casa Del Padre was hosting. It's a little weird being considered a Pastor. I got to meet and share our testimony with Molly Godzich as we were riding to the convention center. We also got to visit with Pastor Craig and Jan Hill and ton's of other men and women of God who's names I can't remember. :/
Not to mention all our friends, including Jack King from Faithful Men's Ministry, and our Pastor G.F. Watkins. I have to say we are so blessed. We are just starting out in the ministry and God has already begun to place us before kings. (so to speak)

In other news I am really loving our home (have I said that already?) I walk around in it everyday and just thank God for his grace and his love for us. We were talking today about it. You know sometimes God will ask you to do something that may seem like it makes no sense. In our case give away all your belongings...not sell them but GIVE them away. Pack up your family and move to another country. Most people when we tried to give our stuff to them said "No, you should be selling this to buy new over there" Trust me that sounds like the most logical thing to do. And I'll be honest there were times when my faith wavered. I would see all the crazy stuff we accumulated and in my head I would start calculating how much we could have sold the stuff for. I know, I know, shocking! But when I walk around my home, with my new furniture (our fridge still has the label, and the plastic sticker to protect the finish on it!) Stuff that is nicer than we had in America. I think "WOW!" I am so glad we listened and obeyed. We had no idea what God had in store for us! As a blessing for our obedience he has given us a beautiful furnished home. Honestly if we sold all our stuff we could never have bought the stuff we have here. God is so good! I know, I'm gushing. I just wish those of you that read this blog could have walked along side us (some of you did actually) and seen the progression. There is such a blessing in obedience that goes beyond the material things and the meeting famous people. It's indescribable really.
Proverbs 10:22 says "It is the blessing of the LORD that makes rich, And He adds no sorrow to it." We don't have a lot of money but we have the blessing of the Lord. I feel this verse very strongly lately. I live this verse right now. God is good!

When we met our landlady she told us that she was going to get a biopsy done on a tumor she had. Victor prayed for her with Jose and I agreeing that night. The next day she was at a memorial service and began crying. Tears were coming out of both her eyes. The next time she talked to us she told us about it. She said she had just been told by a Doctor a week before, that she would never be able to cry from her left eye again. Jose told her to get her money back from the other Dr because the great physician healed her! The next week when we were moving in we were talking and she told us she was leaving the next day to get her biopsy in the U.S. I prayed for her with Jose agreeing. A couple days later she asked her assistant to let us know that when they went to do the biopsy the tumors were gone! I'm telling you guys it's fun to serve the Lord!

Please pray for my sister. Her water broke over 36 hours ago (at 10:00 am Saturday 9/11) and she is not progressing. I know the baby will be here by the time most of you read this but please keep her in prayer. I know she will appreciate it.
Also, my camera is dying a slow death and I really need a new one. I am believing God for a dslr because I want to get more serious about photography. Please pray for us that God would provide for it. :) THANK YOU!!

Jose's story

Before I became a Christian I never had a heart or desire for children. When I was very young I had an accident that the doctors told me I could not have any children. When I received Jesus to come into my heart I realized that from Genesis on, God’s desire was to fill the earth with people made in his likeness and image, not much has changed. This mandate began to grow inside of me to fulfill what God had set out to do. My heart began to change towards children in such a drastic way that I began to serve in the nursery at Powerhouse Christian Center. I remember Pastor Watkins coming back from a trip to Peru and visiting an orphanage in Lima; that night my heart began to beat so fast that I thought it was going to explode and I began to understand the Holy Spirit working in my heart. That night I remember going up to Pastor after service and telling him that if he ever goes back I would like to go with him. I was only born again for about 6 months at that point. A couple years later I had an opportunity to go with Pastor Watkins to South America and what I thought would calm my inner desires to go to Peru increased even more. For 5 years following I engulfed myself in learning ministry. I have been a witness to countless spiritual sons being returned to a right relationship to their heavenly father. I have seen transformed lives through this ministry find purpose and passion for pursuing God. In 2009 the Lord began to work in me more fervently with what he showed me in 2002. In my effort to try and quench this inner struggle I took my family to see what God birthed in me many years before. The word says that God is faithful to complete the work he began inside of us, and that is exactly what happened. I saw myself knowing that I was called to be a missionary to do what God had done inside of me and help others to be raised up. My mandate is clear: Restore order in a world of chaos by bringing back spiritual and natural orphans to a right relationship to our heavenly father through Jesus Christ. My heart is to reach, teach, and send out. Reach orphans, teach the way of the cross, and send them out to other parts of the world.
Jose

Stream of Consciousness...

Most little girls play cinderella or sleeping beauty. Not me, I played Wendy from Peter Pan. I loved pretending to be a mother taking care of my "lost boys." I should have known God would give me little boys. It's hard to recapture the fun of being a make-believe mother living in a forest when you are wiping noses and bottoms, making lunch and taking care of bloody noses. When you live in the forest it doesn't matter if you have dirt on the floor. The floor is dirt. (consequently my floor might as well be dirt right now. I sweep and before I can even "swiffer wet jet" my floor it's dirty again.)

Sometimes I look at my day to day life and think "wow, how much longer is this going to last?" I have a hard time just living in right now. When I start to see a dream coming true I want to run up to it and wrap my arms around it. I don't like the waiting part. Which you would think I would be used to. A couple years ago when we would talk about moving to Peru I would get kind of nervous. The nervousness that comes from not knowing what your getting yourself into or what it will be like. I still don't know what it will be like. And I'm sure I don't know what I'm getting myself into. But I'm deliriously happy to be going now. When we arrived in Peru last September I was less than dazzled by the airport and exhausted from the trip so I can't remember exactly what my first thoughts there were. I do remember the first day there. I fell in love. The way I hear people describing their feelings for Italy or Paris. That is how I felt there. All I could think was "I get to live HERE!?" So now I'm counting down the weeks and days until I get to go back. Only this time we actually get to do something! We get to minister the love of Jesus to a nation of hurting and dying people.

When Jose initially spoke to the pastor we will be working with the first year he told him our heart is for Piura. He said we were the third couple that mentioned Piura to him and nothing has happened. No one has followed through. Can you imagine what God must have in store for that part of the country? I am giddy just thinking about it.

(aren't we cute...especially him!)

Jose and I were both in wedding's last week. Mine was Sunday (and I have NO pictures) :( His was Saturday. Both had brides named Melissa. (odd) They were both beautiful and I am so happy for both of them. I've been able to see both of them grow up in their relationships with God and I've been able to watch both of their relationships (with their husbands) blossom. I love you girls! I pray for both of you and we take our roles as your sister and brother in Christ very seriously! Congratulations Mrs. Greenwade and Mrs. Echevarria!  

Hearing God

"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.  Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." James 1:19-27

The other day someone mentioned something to me in passing about having the ability to hear from God. Something about that statement gave me pause. I kept hearing that phrase in my head. "I can hear from God" I thought about it a lot and then I just asked God. What is it about that phrase? and then because *I can hear from God* He told me, the strange thing about that phrase is everyone *CAN* hear from God. Think about it. The bible is a letter from God. So it stands to reason that any person that reads the bible at any time is  hearing from God. Seriously though, saying you can hear from God is like saying you can breath. Of course you can, you were made to do it. But, just because you hear from God doesn't mean you automatically do the right thing aka "what God said to do." Why else would God say this in his word "But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says." 

Now I'm going to break down this little section of scripture and show you what God showed me (scripture is in blue my comments are in black)

"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

This seems somewhat obvious to me but in case you don't see the connection I'll mention it. It's hard to hear someone else talking when you are always talking. I have come to the place that in my prayer time I hardly speak at all. It's not because I don't have a lot to say (obviously, I have a lot to say) It's because If I do all the talking I won't hear God's still small voice speaking to me. Lord help me, I don't ever want to miss his voice.

So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.

Humility is a key to hearing from God. Most of the time we really don't want to hear what he has to say. Most of the time he says to give up your life, sacrifice, obey, submit, give, love your enemy, pray for those that spitefully use you. Things that pride doesn't allow.

But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.

Strong words. I have wanted to say this to people in the past. It makes me sad to see people justify themselves because of past accomplishments or ability to hear from God. It goes back to humility. If you start to see the things you've done for/through/because of God as something you did yourself. You already got your reward and you are deceiving yourself.

For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.

I love how vivid this is. Since I have to check a mirror before I leave my house, on the way to my destination, and as soon as I arrive. This hits home for me. I mean it's not like I forgot what I look like (well sometimes...maybe). But I still check again and again. Looking carefully is descriptive of searching out the scripture. Having scriptural backing for the things you do. (and please, look at the context of your verse don't just find a verse that fits your needs if you leave out the first 3 and last 2 words...pet peeve) 

If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.

I love it that he says this. He literally says if you don't control your tongue your religion is worthless. Someone tried to gossip to me and I told them "I don't want to be a part of gossip" they said "it's not gossip it's the truth" Their tongue was so out of control that they justified gossiping by saying it was the truth. My rule of thumb is If I'm not part of the problem and I'm not part of the solution then it's not my business. I do not want to hear that everything I did was worthless because I was involved in any way with idle chatter

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

This is one of my all time favorite scriptures. I look forward to the day when I will be caring for orphans. I also think it's interesting how many people leave the last part out when they quote this verse. Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father is caring for widows and orphans in their distress, but it's also refusing to let the world corrupt you. We let the world corrupt us by making small compromises it usually starts with our mouth James 3:3-6 says "We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself"


A few additional thoughts.
I'm reading a book right now called Steps To The Anointing (Dag Heward-Mills) it talks about the ability to be led into the wilderness. Jesus was led into the wilderness (Matt 4:1) and yet as Christians we don't believe God will ever lead us into a wildnerness. Most of us will only follow him to somewhere nice. But we must be people who will follow him even when he is leading us against our natural inclinations. As Ray Comfort has said when we say "my god wouldn't ask me to do something like that" we are breaking the second commandment and making a god in our own image. Of course your god wouldn't do that he doesn't exist.  

 I love how beautiful the word is. It's just poetic. I wish that I could transfer the feeling I get when I read the word of God to others. It sheds light on things I don't understand and restores my soul.  

Rhema

I love it when the word of God speaks directly to me. As if this portion of scripture was written directly to and for me like a private letter. I bolded certain parts for emphasis of what God is showing me. I hope it ministers to you

2 Timothy 2
A Good Soldier of Christ Jesus

Timothy, my dear son, be strong through the grace that God gives you in Christ Jesus. 2 You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.3 Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. 4 Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them. 5 And athletes cannot win the prize unless they follow the rules. 6 And hardworking farmers should be the first to enjoy the fruit of their labor. 7 Think about what I am saying. The Lord will help you understand all these things.
8 Always remember that Jesus Christ, a descendant of King David, was raised from the dead. This is the Good News I preach. 9 And because I preach this Good News, I am suffering and have been chained like a criminal. But the word of God cannot be chained. 10 So I am willing to endure anything if it will bring salvation and eternal glory in Christ Jesus to those God has chosen.
11 This is a trustworthy saying:
If we die with him,
we will also live with him.
12 If we endure hardship,
we will reign with him.
If we deny him,
he will deny us.
13 If we are unfaithful,
he remains faithful,
for he cannot deny who he is.

14 Remind everyone about these things, and command them in God’s presence to stop fighting over words. Such arguments are useless, and they can ruin those who hear them.

15 Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth. 16 Avoid worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior. 17 This kind of talk spreads like cancer, as in the case of Hymenaeus and Philetus. 18 They have left the path of truth, claiming that the resurrection of the dead has already occurred; in this way, they have turned some people away from the faith.19 But God’s truth stands firm like a foundation stone with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and “All who belong to the Lord must turn away from evil.”

20 In a wealthy home some utensils are made of gold and silver, and some are made of wood and clay. The expensive utensils are used for special occasions, and the cheap ones are for everyday use. 21 If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.22 Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.

23 Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. 24 A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. 25 Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. 26 Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants.

Trust & Obey

Lately I've had so much I want to talk about that I get on here start writing and get distracted by my other thoughts. So I have to put the computer down and walk away to regroup. (I'm sure the 3 people that read this are very happy to know that lol)

Anyway I have really been thinking about obedience lately. I'm regularly finding myself telling Logan to do something simple like pick up his toys or put on his shoes or any number of random little things and coming up against the evil question"WHY?" not that I'm against telling him why his toys should be put away or his shoes should be on or he should not eat the thing he picked up off the ground. It's just that while I'm answering him he is not doing what I asked him to do, he usually has follow up why's and yes, it comes to the point that he forgot what I asked him to do. So once its explained I have to start the whole process again. Sometimes I wish I could explain to him (in a way he really would understand) that when I ask him to put on his shoes 9 times out of 10 his shoes need to go on so we can do something he likes. Go to the park, library, church, get a watermelon slush, something. If he would just obey me the first time I ask I would be so much more willing to take him places like the park or the library because he has proven that he can be obedient in the small things even if he doesn't know why.

I look at myself and my highly doubtful, questioning nature and I realize most of the time when God (or my husband...ouch) ask me to do something I want to ask them "WHY?" I'm a person who likes to have a plan and understand the reasons, the processes, the beginning from the end, all of it. I don't do well with reasons like "just because" or "just do what I'm asking you and you will find the benefits later" the phrase Obedience is better than sacrifice stings me almost everytime because I would rather make sacrifices than be uncomfortable or do something I don't understand or want to do.

 The other night Jose and I were talking with one of the guys he mentors. The guy asked why he needs to do something not in a rebellious way just in a "tell me again so I know why I'm working so hard for this" way. We gave him some answers and I just kind of blurted out "Really, you don't need to know why. You just need to do it." Yikes! I think back on some things I've said to people in moments of counseling and ministry and I realize it's all for me. God always gives me words for people that also apply to me even when it applies to me in a completely different situation.

I'm also learning that when you are obedient to God and the things he tells you there are always friends (sometimes...usually Christians) that don't understand and question you again and again. Making it even more difficult to do what God told you to do. I'll give you an example of something in my life right now. In our preparations for Peru we have been getting rid of *stuff* lots and lots of stuff (it's kind of a relief to be loosing so much clutter from our lives) Very well meaning friends and family have encouraged us to sell our stuff to pay for part of the trip or replace the stuff when we get to Peru something along those lines. We have considered it but we both know deep down that God told us to give it away. I'm not going to lie, my natural mind does start thinking "but if we sold this we could get at least $$$ for it which would buy xyz and that would be so much easier than just trusting God to provide it" Yes, it's easy to think that way and hard to explain the other way of thinking but in the end all God is asking us to do is trust Him and obey what he's asked us to do (hmm that sounds familiar)

So here we go. I'm trusting God and doing what he told me to do.