March Update

I keep wanting to sit down and write a nice update on all the great things that are happening (because they are. Really) But I'm having trouble getting it all down. Life is kind of kicking my butt right now. (can missionaries say that?) And everything I try to start gets overwhelming about halfway in. I think Zoe realized this about me because she decided to be potty trained and just started telling me she had to go and that was pretty much it. That's the only explanation I can come up with because I honestly did not want to deal with it right now. Or maybe ever.

Anyway, the boys started school this month because the school year here runs March-December. Logan is doing great mostly because he's social and works better with other kids his age doing the same thing as him. The only part that is hard is homework. I thought homeschooling was tough (it was) trying to help a 4th grader do homework in Spanish is ridiculous. I could probably easily help with the homework in english but naming the tools used in a chemistry lab is a little out of my depth. Every day he asks for help and I end up telling him to ask dad when he gets home.

Timothy on the other hand has been struggling with every aspect of school but he's finally getting in the groove. Autism and sensory integration issues are not very well known here. So we are trying to teach his teacher about it while also trying to help Tim with Spanish, cursive, and anything the teacher sends home for him to work on. Thankfully we found a great tutor who doesn't speak any english but is extremely patient and seems to like working with Tim. Timothy can understand her because it's one on one with no distractions and she speaks very slowly. Every day is a new test of my creativity to help him get through different challenges. We have learned he works best with some kind of reward looming in the near future to help him push through the hard parts.  That and lots of squishing, pillow/tickle fights or wrestling are what get us through the days.  




Zoe had her second birthday. I threw my first big party in awhile for her. She adores princesses and it was all pink and princess themed just for her. She loved it even though she only kept her tutu and tiara on long enough to take one picture. I did my best to just be a part of the party so I didn't get very many pictures. But it was a lot of fun and many people who love her were there to celebrate my sassy & sweet little 2 year old. She is constantly surprising us with how much she catches. She loves to sing and dance and draw on things with magic markers. She speaks her own version of spanglish and she imitates people perfectly. She often likes to run through all the names she knows. Repeating "awella" (Manuela) her hands down favorite person in the world. Having a daughter has been an adventure and a challenge but I wouldn't trade her. She lives up to the "life" part of her name for sure.  

For the last couple weeks we have had a lot of rain. Peru isn't used to rain...at all. When I have said it rained I was referring to Peru's version which is basically a light sprinkle. The kind of thing where back home everyone would be asking "is it raining?" Because you could stand outside in it for 10 minutes and still be completely dry. But the last couple weeks it's been good, solid, flood the streets raining a little every day. Because of that we've had a few setbacks, the church and our house flooded. The roof at the church caved in and even the school Logan goes to closed for a day because they had some rain related issues. It's amazing how much damage can be done when you aren't prepared.

God has been doing some really exciting things in the midst of all of this.                                    In coming here we had a few goals.                     One of them was to plant churchES.                 We've been in Piura for 4 years now and have been steadily growing that whole time. This Sunday we will have our grand opening at Powerhouse Chulucanas.                                     The second official church plant of Powerhouse Peru.                                                                       We have a great couple that have been working with us and learning a lot about ministry.           They will run the location and we will go every so often to make sure things are running smoothly.                                                              

This has been a huge undertaking along with everything else going on.                                      But we are so excited to see what happens.  Chulucanas is about an hour East of us here in Piura. It's a beautiful little city that's kind of in the mountains. The famous black and white pottery from Peru originated there.                       The location we found is right in the center of town.                                                                    About one block from the "Plaza de Armas" it's actually about 3 times as big as our Piura location so we are hopeful it will be filled with people seeking a relationship with Jesus.                    Starting tomorrow night we will have our own version of "The glory and the fire" put on by our awesome Powerhouse Peru people!

  

Thank you all for praying for us and to those of you who send us notes of encouragement on Facebook or email or whatsapp or by carrier pigeon.

 However they come they mean a lot to us when the days are hard. 

Thank you also to everyone who supports us financially. 

Your sacrifices help us to continue the work and often come in right at the moment we need it the most. 

We thank God for you and we thank you for you! 

Love from Peru! 

The Lopez's 

Hero

It's important to be careful about who you allow to be a hero in your life. Humans are human and will make human choices. This is why no matter how much I admire someone I am very careful to say they are my hero. That said, one person I have always had as a hero in my life is a woman named Elisabeth Elliot. There are many reasons I have always looked up to her and yet I hadn't thought about it in a long time. I was reminded this week. In case you don't know who she is I'll tell you. She was a missionary in Ecuador and married to Jim Elliot. When their daughter was 10 months old Jim Elliot was killed by the very people he went to serve. This has made him a legend, and someone many people I know look up to. I look up to him too, but I think his wife Elisabeth is the real hero of the story. After he died she went to live in the village with the people that killed him for 2 years. I had forgotten that all this happened in Ecuador the country a few hours north of us. Which makes it even more personal and relatable to me. I have been places she has probably been. I don't know that I could have chosen to do what she did. I know now a similar grief from losing my son of natural causes. But I can't imagine how much more difficult it would be to continue living among and working with people that chose to murder my husband. She is a hero to me.

I was reminded of her story because I keep hearing allusions to and speculations that I will go home because of Caleb's death. So I just want to clear something up. When I was 13 years old God called me to missions. It took me 15 years to get here but here I am. His call has not changed. I can't think of anything worse than to walk away from my passion, my life work on top of losing my son. If there has ever been something I feel like I can be proud of about myself it's that no matter what has happened to me in my life I have never been one to give up.  I don't quit. 

I was looking at a bunch of quotes from Elisabeth Elliot and she said a couple things that stood out to me

“This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God’s way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness.” 

“Does it make sense to pray for guidance about the future if we are not obeying in the thing that lies before us today? How many momentous events in Scripture depended on one person's seemingly small act of obedience! Rest assured: Do what God tells you to do now, and, depend upon it, you will be shown what to do next.” 

“Faith's most severe tests come not when we see nothing, but when we see a stunning array of evidence that seems to prove our faith vain.”

“To be a follower of the Crucified means, sooner or later, a personal encounter with the cross. And the cross always entails loss.”

“Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering. The love of God is of a different nature altogether. It does not hate tragedy. It never denies reality. It stands in the very teeth of suffering. The love of God did not protect His own Son. It was the proof of His love – that He gave that Son, that He let Him go to Calvary’s cross, though “legions of angels” might have rescued Him. He will not necessarily protect us- not from anything it takes to make us like His Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process.”

I want to be like her. One thing I can say is I agree with her about everything. I'm still not happy about Caleb's death and I doubt I will ever be happy about it. But I know it was for my good. I know that God still has a plan for me and I will not allow the enemy to put this in his victory column. I am going to do as Paul said in Hebrews 12

 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.

I've said many times that I believe the safest place to be is in the center of God will. But I am going to expand that. The best place to be is in the center of God's will. It's better to be in the center of Gods will and in a 3rd world country than in the comforts of the United States. My life can be taken. My children's lives can be taken. It might be the hardest thing I ever have to do but until God tells me something different this is where I'm supposed to be.

When I die I wil answer to God for the choices I make. So I have chosen to follow him no matter where he leads me. No matter how hard that road is. No matter who disagrees or rejects me. 

Caleb Elijah Lopez

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to write in my entire life. I want to write it and at the same time I don't. Even as I sit here trying to write my heart aches thinking of where I was at exactly this moment last week longing to be there instead of here.

A week. How can it already have been a week? I've thought a million times what I'm going to write here and how I'm going to begin and what order I'll put it in and I think I've been so afraid to come back here...so afraid of...of leaving something out...of attaching simple words to an event that is so far from simple, it might just not be possible. I don't know how it's going to come or if it will make sense, but I'm just going to write.

I already had 2 sons. Thinking I was going to have a little girl was an adjustment but I was happy. We scheduled the c-section for February 1st because I liked that the baby's birthday would be 2.1.12 and here in Peru it would be written 1.2.12 things like that make me happy. There had been complications as I've mentioned here but we were praying for the baby to make it. The hospital had us check in the night before because my surgery was scheduled at 8am. I was so nervous I barely slept and I prayed all night. 

At 6am the nurse came in and told me to take a shower. She told Jose he needed to have baby shampoo and some other things that we didn't think to bring with us so he had to go to the store. But no stores were open so he waited until 7:30. The nurses came for me minutes after he left. My spanish is not very good and I needed Jose with me so I kept saying "Yo necesito mi esposo. Espere POR FAVOR" (my way of saying "I need my husband. wait PLEASE") they just kept telling me he went to the store and would be back soon. They prepped me and gave me an epidural. I was strapped to a table and I heard the nurses saying something about my husband wanting to come in and how weird it was and I started crying. A different nurse came over and tried to comfort me. I just said my little spanish phrase a few times and finally she said "he's coming we won't start without him here." When they let Jose in he told me they just had him wait until everything was ready.  

We knew that girl was just a guess, but it was still a surprise when the Dr said "baronsito!" (little boy) And I was so happy. Sure we didn't have any boy stuff but I didn't realize just how much I wanted another boy until that moment. When the nurse held him up to me to see I wanted so badly to hold him and kiss him and tell him how I loved him. But they needed to get him into an incubator and run tests. I knew that would happen long before he was born. Everything is fuzzy after that. I remember Jose saying "Caleb Elijah it is!" I heard my Dr say that I had no amniotic fluid, and I remember praying that Caleb and I would be ok. 

They took me to a recovery room and I was there for what seemed like days. I kept begging the girl to let me see my husband and my baby and they finally took me upstairs but me and caleb both had to stay where we were, separated. When I got to my room Jose told me Caleb's colon was not fully developed and he needed surgery. They were running tests to see what needed to be done. Most likely he would need a colostomy. We waited and waited to find out what was going to happen. I asked Jose to take a picture of him so I could at least see him and he did. Finally the dr confirmed he would need a colostomy and hopefully by 6-9 months we could reverse it and he would be fine. His surgery ended up being around 9 pm and we could do nothing but wait. Jose kept checking on him but there was no news. Finally they told us he had come through surgery fine and it was successful. 

Thursday morning Caleb's Dr told us he had stopped breathing when they took him off the oxygen at 4am. They were able to get him breathing again with the oxygen tubes and they said that sometimes that happens with babies that young. They have trouble getting used to breathing on their own. I was determined to see him so I got out of bed as soon as I could. The pain was horrible. I don't remember ever hurting as badly as I did after this c-section. I kept asking to see him and they were barely letting Jose. Finally after Jose had asked again and again they said I could come down.   

He looked just as I imagined him, like his brothers. With a full head of black hair and light skin like me. Logan and Timothy had both been big 9.6 and 7.12 lbs respectively. Both of them were 21 1/2 inches long. Caleb was 5.5 lb and 17 inches long. He was so small yet he looked substantial. His legs were very short and skinny but he had broad shoulders so we called him our little football player. He looked like he had shoulder pads on. He was so beautiful and I cried. I sobbed actually. I had prayed for him for 4 years and here we was. I thought I was going to lose him but I didn't. He was a miracle. He survived when the Dr said I was having a miscarriage. I thought if he could just make it to term everything would be ok. 

While we were with him we noticed his oxygen saturation level was only at 50% the dr told Jose a bunch of stuff and when we were talking about it I asked Jose if they thought he was going to die, he didn't know. Every time they talked to us they mentioned one more thing that was a cause for concern. God was preparing me but I didn't want to believe it. 

One hour after I left Caleb he left us. Just like that. He stopped breathing and this time they couldn't get him to start again. 6 pm. 33 hours and 5 minutes. That's how long caleb was here. I've heard people say that having a child is like having a piece of your heart walking around outside of your body. You can't control what happens to it but everything that does happen feels like it's happening to you. It's true but how do you explain the way you feel when that piece of your heart dies? I know he's in heaven and given the choice to stay there or come to me he would stay. I'm not mad at God but I'm jealous. He gets to know my baby and I don't. I know it's his plan and theres a reason for it. But it still hurts. I still have moments where I feel like I can't go on. That the pain of losing him is more than I can take. That I will never be ok. But then I have moments where peace comes in like a flood. Gods presence is tangible. I know he is with me and he is comforting me. Even while I grieve he is comforting me. I'm not eloquent enough to explain any of this really. This is just the way it is. 

The next couple days were filled with doing things we never would have thought we would have to do. Thinking about things we never would have thought we would have to think about. Reliving a moment I never wanted to live. Jose wrote this to our Pastor and it sums up how I feel as well. 

"Every step of my walk of faith he has stretched me.  Every step I knew is one for something bigger.  Every step has come at a higher cost but also a higher reward.  I can only imagine what this time of trial will bring to my life.  I knew when he called me, that I being a soldier, am willing to die.  I know that I am not afraid to die now if you ask me to, but it came at a higher price to ask my son to die.  how great a sacrifice can I be identified with than the one that sent his son to die for us.  God will get the Glory in Caleb's life and he will get it through my life.  All this does it gets me more angry at the devil for tempting me with denying Christ and provoking me to fear and not faith."    

3 days after Caleb died we had Sunday service. All we did was worship and Jose gave a short word of testimony about Caleb and an invitation to have a relationship with God. The house was packed. We had 32 people in our living room and 6 of them raised their hands and answered the invitation. It was a beautiful way to celebrate my sons life. 6 people's lives have been changed because of my son's short life. Thousands of people have heard Caleb's story and prayed for him and us. People that didn't know us or each other all came together on our behalf because of Caleb. I can't say that I would have chosen this. I can't say that I'm glad this happened. But I know it was worth it. 

Caleb will always be my son. I will always carry him in my heart. His life as short as it was had an eternal impact and I'm grateful for that. I thank God for giving him to me even for the short time that I had him. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the LORD."
Jeremiah 29:11-14a

While I was pregnant God gave me this passage. I thought it was for the baby. After He died I asked God why he would give me that passage when clearly it didn't apply. But it wasn't for Caleb. It was for me. To carry me. He knew this would happen. He knew why it would happen. It was for my good. I have a future and a hope. When I pray he listens. I will find Him.
In everything I will find Him.

Cineguilla

On Tuesday Jose and I went out with a guy from church to an area close to where we live called Cineguilla (I am totally guessing on the spelling there.)


This cute little lady was very proud to have her picture taken


and when I say she was little I mean it. I had to contort my body to stand next to her and I'm barely 5' 2"


We also met a lady who runs what is called a wawa wasi. It's a government program to help single mothers work. They put together 8 moms. One of them watches the kids and the other 7 work. The ones that work pay the mom that watches the kids S/. 2 a day to pay for their water etc...(the exchange rate is about S/. 2.78 to $1) And the government pays her S./ 180 a month. That's about $67 a month. She also gets a little bit of money from her child's father but NOTHING like American child support.
While we were talking to her we really felt God impressing on our hearts to bless her. Like I said above she watches 8 kids including her own and only owns 6 toys and they are old and broken (things like a naked barbie - they don't own any barbie clothes, and an old stacking toy that we would have thrown away,) She also had an 8 year old son with one toy of his own. An action figure that he was super proud of.

Aside from that her home is a shack built of things like cardboard and plywood. Her front door is like a gate that is held shut by a large stick propped up against it. She has no running water but is proud to have electricity.
These are some pictures of her "house" from the outside and some of the other "houses" around hers


We want to help this lady and we need your help to do that. There is a list about a mile long of ways we could help her and we know that we can't do everything but here are the things we can do.
1. Secure her front door.
2. get toys for children ages 6mo-4years
3. get toys for her 8 year old son.
4. get some shoes for her kids
5. give her some teaching materials. Wall decorations etc... she tries to teach the kids and all she has is her own voice.

If you would like to help with any of these things send me an email at jkmission2peru@gmail.com especially if you want to send a package for her. If you want to help financially you can use the link to give through our church (just email me at the above address that you want your donation to go to blessing her) or through paypal. Next time we go we will get some pictures of her and her kids. Jose had the camera when we were there and he was the one talking ;)
We cannot take pictures of the kids she takes care of though. There are very strict laws here about that.


After we left her house we came across some kids playing. All of them live in homes where the parents are not married. We are finding that is extremely common here. It creates an environment where the mother is insecure and the father is unstable. It also makes it difficult to track the divorce rate here. People really don't have to get divorced because they rarely get married


Anyway, the kids stole my heart. The girl in the blue sweater wanted me to take a million pictures of her. She managed to get into most of the pictures I took.

I also think it is very important that you know I climbed up this mountain in what I used to think of as sensible walking shoes

There are "stairs" carved into it but you can't even see them. unless you are right there looking at them.
I am so thankful for paved roads and construction. And don't even get me started on how thankful I am for my home.

You live in a blessed nation. No matter what the news says or how you feel about the current political or economic situation. Next time you spend $67 think about what your life would be like if that was your entire months paycheck

Learning my lesson

o.k. I admit it. I did not have the best attitude about my laundry taking 5 hours. I thought it was a pain to wait all the time just for one load. But then we went to the zoo. 

At the zoo we rode a train that went around the perimeter and I was sitting on the side where you can see outside the zoo.

Imagine living by the zoo.

Even in America the zoo smells nasty.

There is no getting around it.

Now imagine living here.

Yes those are "houses"

If you lived there you would do laundry

here

Or here

Which is also where you would bathe

(I saw people doing that but decided not to take pictures of it...I want to keep this blog "G" rated)

Remember all your washing is downwind of a zoo. There are no words. I am so grateful for my impossibly long washer and dryer.

Life in Peru

once upon a time I dreamed of owning a washer/dryer combo. I thought it would be amazing to not have to switch the laundry. I thought the laundry would never smell bad because it sat in the washer too long. I thought it would free me up to do so many things...
Oh the naiveity of me (and in case your wondering naiveity is totally a word...at least it is to me)

I got what I wished for. This is my laundry room. The lovely thing on the right is my washer and dryer. It takes a whopping 4 hours at least to wash and dry a  load of clothes that weighs about 5 kilograms. (It says 6 but it lies) So I'm definitely freed up to do other things while it washes and dries my clothes.
Are you wondering what the grey pipe looking thing is that's snaking into the sink?


 
 
                                                   
it's the drainage hose for the washer and dryer of course! Fun stuff!
 
But seriously I am getting a clothesline soon so I can hang up my clothes to dry and hopefully get more laundry done.
 
We have some friends from South Africa and Houston visiting right now so we have been able to visit some tourist spots. This is a 1500 year old temple thing in the middle of Lima. Notice the city skyline behind the ancient mud wall.

Not the most flattering picture of me but hey this is the real me :p

It doesn't rain in Lima so they can build things out of basically dried mud mixed with seashells and it lasts. If we built something like that in houston it would disolve within a month.

One result of the lack of rain is the streets are really dirty. My children look like street urchins when we go out because they just get soooo dirty. Which adds to my laundry problems...

Hand sanitizer is always on my person.

We have been living in our apartment for a week today. Once I find a place for everything I will do a video tour for you to enjoy. I'm really loving our apartment. It's nice to have a place of our own after 2 1/2 months of traveling and staying with people. This place is really beautiful too. God has really blessed us to be able to have a nice home. It's kind of a superficial thing. But one thing God has shown me in this short time is that he delights in giving us the desires of our hearts. Even the seemingly unimportant ones.