A Rainbow

February 2nd was one of the hardest days of our lives. We lost our sweet baby boy Caleb when he was only 2 days old. While we know he is in Heaven and that gives some comfort it doesn’t completely take away the pain of what happened and the fact that we miss him.  

But God is faithful and has sent a rainbow in the midst of our storm.

"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.

~Courtney

This week we discovered we are expecting another baby he or she is due April 7th 2013. Please pray for us that this would be a boring and happy pregnancy. It was a surprise but we are thrilled beyond words.  

6 months

It's usually not this hard. Most days come and go casually with very little thought of the baby I don't have. But then I have days that are fairly catastrophic and even though the struggles and frustration have nothing to do with my missing child, they do. Why am I so edgy today? Oh yeah, Caleb would have been 6 months old today. I would have told him happy half a year birthday at his morning feeding and we would have been quietly, almost without noticing, celebrating the 6 months he was here. If he was like Logan he would have been crawling by now. If he was like Timothy he would be happy to stick to scooting for several months more. But I will never know what he is like on earth because he is not here.

I'm still sad. I still ache to hold my baby and my eyes fill with tears occasionally when I see babies that are about the age he would be. I guess it's similar to a physical wound. Generally it doesn't hurt so much but when something touches it then the pain is strong for a moment.

The good news is God is faithful. He has carried us through this and at the end of the storm there will be a rainbow.


The week that Caleb went to Heaven my sweet friend Johanna sent me an album through iTunes. That whole album (and "Where I find you"by Kari Jobe) has been very soothing for me. I pretty much played them nonstop for 2 months. The words to this song pretty much sum up how I feel and have felt since the beginning.

Under the wings of God
I will rest, and I will lie in wait
Watching the storm go by
From this shelter of His love and grace

His love is strong
And my hope is here, under the wings of God
Where I belong
And in His love I am safe

When the leaves begin to fall
From the trees of happiness and joy
When the season of sorrow comes
Like a frigid breeze over the frozen soil

His love is warm
And my hope is here under His blazing sun
Where I belong
In His love I am safe

When I am weak He is, He is stronger
When I am slipping He pulls me in close
When I am helpless He will defend me
He is with me wherever I go
Who is like Him? Awesome in power
Who is stronger? His strength has no end
If He is for me, who stands against me?
He will hold me safe in His hands

Thank you for those of you who pray for us and send notes and messages. They mean a lot to us. I love to hear how my baby boy's short life has impacted people. I will never get tired of talking about him so please don't hesitate to mention him to me. (if you want to) 

The silent treatment

The other night I was reading the proverbs to my kids before bed. Every night we (usually Jose actually, but I do it sometimes) read the proverb that corresponds with the date. It was July 17th so we read Proverbs 17. I know it's not earth shattering but it's a fun little thing we do that now we can never skip. If we try Timothy storms into our room 5 minutes after we say good-night saying "wead the Pwoverbs!" It's actually really funny.
Anyway this part stuck out to me.

I always joke that it's my life verse whenever people comment on how quiet I am. Truthfully, it's not my life verse but I do think of it a lot.
The thing about talking is it's easy. Most of us do it non stop from about a year old (or earlier) until we die. Because it's so easy, it's very easy to say things that we don't mean or we haven't thought through. Which is actually a part of the reason that I like writing. I can write out everything in my heart then look back over it and decide if what I wrote is really saying what I want to say. Even so I know I still make mistakes. That's life and a part of human nature. So I try to stick with the "less is more" mindset. (watch this be my longest post ever. lol)

I know it's easy to talk about other people with no bad intentions and then somewhere in there it turns into gossip. I have run into many situations where I realize I have gotten myself stuck on a runaway train and then I don't know what to do. I don't want to offend whoever I'm talking to but at the same time I know that the territory we have crossed into is inappropriate. Am I the only one this happens to? I kind of doubt it but I don't know. I used to just start panicking and whoever I was talking to would realize I wasn't paying attention to what they were saying and would ask if I was ok. While it did work it was a little embarrassing. So lately I've just starting using the honest approach. When I realize what I'm doing I just say. "I'm sorry, can we talk about something else?" or something along those lines. I've also used redirection. You know "Oh! speaking of Mary, Have you tried that new sushi place?" It might not even make sense but it works. (now if I'm ever talking to someone who reads this blog and do that they will know what I'm doing...maybe I should keep this a secret.)

Often things we say are a part of our culture and we don't even think about the actual meaning of what we are saying. There is a word here in Peru that people say all the time when there is a child crying or throwing a fit. The word is "Malcreada" which means "badly made" It's the equivalent of calling someone a brat in english. I've also heard some people say it about family members that don't call as often as the person speaking thinks they should. (Which bugs me in a different way. Phones work 2 ways. I will never understand why people get mad at others for not calling them when they are just as capable of calling but don't) I believe that there is power in the words you speak. I don't tell my children they ARE bad or Brats or anything like that. I tell them their behavior is bad. It's just a slight difference but imagine what a difference it makes. When you tell someone they are bad or mean or rude what do they take away from that? If you tell them they are acting mean or rude or behaving badly that gives them room to adjust their actions.

I have started telling my kids "you are fearfully and wonderfully made" as often as I think about it. I know that I have no control over what other people say to them. But when that person speaks to them I want them to have an overflowing store house of positive reinforcement. I want them to know that God made them just the way they are without hesitation or a second thought. He knew what he was doing and he made them just as they should be. Probably a year ago there was a movie in theaters called "the help" in that movie a maid would tell her charge everyday "you is good, you is kind, you is smart"  I loved that. (as did a lot of people from what I understand)

I could totally break out about 50 other verses from the bible about being careful about what you say. Almost all of Proverbs 18 talks about it and there are tons of other places. But I'm just going to leave it at this.

Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.

We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. 

James 3:2-6

To Timothy

6 years ago today I went to my drs appointment not expecting to meet you for another 4 weeks. 

Little did I know you would be born about 2 hours later. 

Ever since then life has been an adventure and full of surprises.

You and I have a very special connection. 

I'm fairly certain it's because of all the hours I've spent praying about you. 

You have always danced to the beat of your own soundtrack and you often sing it to us.

Nobody else knows the words but that's ok, it's your song.

You are great at cheering me up and getting me to laugh when you are in trouble.

You love spending time with your family.

I love it that no matter what we are doing you want to be in the room with us.

You are just like your daddy. 

I love this picture because it shows how much you look alike. 

Sometimes you give me a glimpse of what he was like when he was your age.

I know that you will follow in his footsteps and be a great man one day. 

Timothy means Servant of God and Joseah means Fire of God.

You are already so full of faith that whenever you want something you pray for it until it happens.

You never doubt that God will do what you ask him to.

This year we lost your baby brother Caleb. 

You were really looking forward to having him here.

When we talked about it you asked if they have a bed for him in heaven.

You are so sweet and straightforward about everything. 

I love that you aren't shy about talking about Caleb. 

Logan is your best friend. You love him so much.
I love watching you follow him around and trying to be like him. Most of the time you guys go together like peanut butter and jelly. Other times...not so much. But I know you will always be there for each other.








One of your favorite things in the world right now
is movie credits. When we watch a movie you
always want to watch until the music is over and
the screen goes black on it's own. This is just one
of the ways you are uniquely you. Daddy and I
joke that one day you will be the guy who designs
movie credits. You already play at it with your
Jengas.
Some other things you really love are
Snoopy and Charlie Brown.
Happy Monsters
Pirates &
Chocolate.

Happy Birthday Timothy

You brighten up our lives in ways you can't imagine.

We love you!

Mommy & Daddy

life and times

Life has had many twists and turns the last few months.

Last Month we were able to have an important part of getting our visas done.

Hopefully at the end of June we will be able to go back to Lima and have them finalized.

Please pray that everything goes smoothly and we can get that out of the way!

Once that is done we will be able to get all the church paperwork taken care of 

which will help us in many ways. 

One of them being that we will be able to receive the land for the orphanage!

This is kind of what life feels like right now. 

A lot of pieces have come together but we are still waiting on the missing ones. 

 Our church is growing really quickly and is mostly full of new believers. We have outgrown our home already which is about 6 months sooner than we expected. Right now we are praying for a larger place to host our church and the provision for it

About half of the members of Powerhouse Peru

The next few months we have a lot of exciting things going on.

In June we have a vision campaign. We will be going into a neighborhood near us and providing free eye exams and glasses to 100 people that need them. 

In August we have a team from La Casa Del Padre in Lima and they will be helping us build houses.

The daughter of one of our members lost everything including one of her children in a fire a few months ago. We are trying to collect some items for her family and help them build a new home and fill it with some of the things they need. We will also be building a few other houses that weekend.

Every servolution outreach so far has been amazing! 

We always look forward to the next one with anticipation

In September we will be having our first ever Saving the Family conference. 

This is a huge undertaking and to be honest a little overwhelming. 

A team from Powerhouse Church in Katy will be coming to help us and we are so looking forward to the "family reunion" that will be, along with seeing what God does that week. 

We are really excited about some of the doors God has opened and people that will be speaking. 

Once we have everything finalized I will give some more details.  

If you are interested in coming with the team from Katy please let us know. 

We would love to have you!

In other news I turned 30 last month. It was a wonderful day. 

We started it in Lima and I was surprised with a breakfast party 

then we ended it by coming home to Piura and my ladies group surprised me with another party!

I can honestly say that is the first time I've had 2 parties in my honor in one day 

I want to offer my thanks to all of you that have supported us in this venture. 

We know God brought us here and the harvest was ready for us. 

It is hard work but we love it, and we couldn't do this without you. 

Every prayer and every dollar sent is hugely important to us. 

We love you guys!