What do we do?

When I wasn’t a missionary I often wondered what missionaries spent all their time doing. I had mental images of people dressed in Khaki in the middle of the jungle with tribes of people who had only scraps of fabric tied on with string and body paint as their clothing. I imagined those people using hand motions to share the gospel and then going home to their mud huts at the end of the day. Maybe that was just my imagination but I think I probably saw a movie or read books with those types of images to put the idea in my head. 

Now that I’m an actual missionary I know that there are probably missionaries whose lives look more like that but that’s not really much like my life. (except maybe using hand motions to share the gospel…but I do that no matter what I’m talking about or who I’m talking to.) Anyway, I wanted to share a look into what we do here as missionaries. 

The first aspect and most time intensive part of our work here is church planters and pastors. We have a 3 1/2 year old church that we planted in the main city of Piura and just last week we officially opened the doors of our second stand alone church plant in a smaller town about an hour away called Chulucanas. Over the last few years we worked with a couple from the first church plant so that they can direct the new church plant with supervision from us with the goal that one day once we have gotten the church well established they will be able to be the pastors of that church. Because both churches are relatively young our work just in the church entails pretty much every thing a church staff does. We have been able to grow our team little by little so that we have more laborers helping with things like worship team, the childrens ministry and even things like cleaning the church. But if something breaks Jose is still usually going to be the person going to the hardware store. ;) We also offer free family counseling to the community which is something that we spend a lot of time doing day to day.

One of our recent "Man Church" services 

The second part of what we do is actually something that was birthed once we came here. We really had no idea how pervasive sexual child abuse was here until we actually lived here for awhile. 1 in 3 kids in Peru is sexually abused and usually by a family member or close family friend.  Now that we know what a horrible problem it is we have made it our mission to go into every school that we can in the region to teach the kids about grooming for sexual abuse and how to avoid it and what to do if someone tries to touch them inappropriately. We were connected with an organization that writes materials for children age 3-10 that helps illustrate those things in an age appropriate way and also teaches about values and things like self-esteem. 

Jose with a group of kids from one of the schools we worked with last year.

Another thing we do is about once a month sometimes more often we go into the community to serve. We do lots of different things but some of my favorite have been feeding the homeless and people in hospitals or who had to work on Christmas eve, taking gift baskets filled with stuff for mom and baby to the maternity ward at the regional hospital, and handing out cold water or “bodoques" (a popsicle like treat that is very popular here) to people on the street as they passed.   

some of our team who sacrificed their Christmas Eve to hand out food 

Our fourth aspect is called our training center.  This is a relatively new concept here of combining physical exercise, healthy eating habits, spiritual teachings, focused thinking, and doing it with friends. We call it “Vida Saludable” or Well balanced lifestyle.  What we discovered is that we are reaching a certain group of people that has been left abandoned: the elderly.   This has been a huge undertaking to help bring a healthy lifestyle to a third of the population of our region.  

one of our first "Training center" workshops

The final aspect of our ministry is still in the beginning stages. We always planned to build an orphanage and we are currently in the process of getting that started. Having a son with special needs opened our eyes to the amount of kids here who are like him and need help. But because of the lack of resources most orphanages can’t take them. Most of this part is still in the dreaming stages but we need you to prayers and financial support as we enter into this stage of the ministry.  

I have to confess...

In my life there have been certain lessons I've learned more than once. Or maybe I never learned and I keep going through the situations in order to learn the lessons for real. Growing up I thought I had a lot of self confidence.
 I never really worried about my looks that I remember and thought I was pretty secure. But somehow along the way I lost that and became incredibly insecure. 
A friends younger brother told me I laughed weird so I tried to change my laugh (impossible to do unless you just never actually laugh) 
Someone made fun of the way I scrunched my nose when I smiled so I tried to change my smile. I was made fun of for being short, the size of my hands and feet, my name, how I talked, how much I talked, how little I talked, being too emotional, not being emotional enough...the list goes on. Aside from that there were people who made me feel like my opinions...my voice had no value. 
It was their way or nothing. There are situations where things are a matter of authority and there are others where it's mostly opinions. 
I never really understood the difference and thought I had to conform to the people I was around, fit in like a little robotic carbon copy of everyone else or I would be rejected. 

I remember when my sister was young her favorite things always matched exactly to her friends favorite things. Her favorite color, food, movie etc... changed depending on what friend she was around. One day she asked for "her favorite food" while a friend was over only to realize (once she ate it) that she hated that thing. I don't know really if that helped her recognize what she was doing. She was pretty young at the time. But I don't think she was even doing it on purpose. It was a message that the world sent out to us from a very young age. "Be just like everyone else or nobody will like you" That's why peer pressure is so effective. 

What happened with me is I lost my identity. 
I was afraid to stand up for myself even in tiny things. 
If my opinion differed from someone else's I just kept it to myself "why rock the boat" I thought. 
But really I told myself they wouldn't like me. 
Once I accidentally admitted to a group of women that I didn't like a certain chick flick that had recently come out. 
Suddenly everyone went silent and they just looked at me like I had 3 eyes. 
I started to try to explain my position and then I lost my nerve. 
They thought it was weird that I disagreed but they quickly moved on to something else.
 (and surprise, surprise, they didn't stop being my friends.
 which I really worried about for the rest of the day as I tried to mirror everything they liked)
Now if that's how I felt about movies imagine anything bigger. 
I let people walk all over me and treat me like garbage. 
People I thought of as close friends who really didn't value me at all. 
There have always been people in my life who didn't see me or treat me that way but I wasn't listening to their voices or God. I was believing the lie that my value was dependent on what everyone thought of me. The voices that were the loudest always seemed to be the voices that tried to manipulate me or the voices of those who didn't like me. 
When people would try to encourage me or say good things about me, I always thought. "yeah, you really don't know me." And to be perfectly honest I still have to fight those thoughts.
Changing your mindset isn't an overnight thing.


Why am I saying all this?
 I believe that a lot of people feel that way. I think life and the enemy of our souls has attacked and beaten so many down that we all think "I am garbage" and "I am alone" we don't believe anyone else is going through it and because that's how we think we don't believe we can talk to anyone about it because they won't understand. 
If you keep thinking you are alone. You will be.
 You are more important than you think you are and you are exactly the way you are supposed to be. Every one of us has room to grow but that doesn't mean you have to like all the same movies as everyone else or eat the same kind of food or laugh more demurely or smile without scrunching your nose. 

Most people have at least heard Psalm 139:14 "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works;my soul knows it very well."But if you keep reading verses 17 and 18 say a little bit more "How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.They cannot be numbered!I can’t even count them;they outnumber the grains of sand!And when I wake up,you are still with me!"The beginning of the chapter talks about how He sees everything. He knows everything we do and everything about us. He didn't just make us exactly as He planned. Wonderful. But he thinks about us and we are precious to Him, even though we are not perfect. For me it shouldn't matter if everyone else in the world thinks I'm a weirdo or awkward. I really am a weirdo and awkward, so they are right, actually. But even so, God thinks I'm precious. He likes my weirdness. He made me to be that way. The way he feels about me is not dependent on if I like to eat at his favorite place or wear his favorite brand. He likes me because I’m me. He also brings people into my life that feel the same. They don’t care if we like the same things or have nothing in common. I (and maybe you too) just have to believe that the right people will stay no matter what I do and the wrong people will move on. 

And that’s ok. 

Really.

Theres something better out there. I’m tried of living in fear of rejection. are you? 

March Update

I keep wanting to sit down and write a nice update on all the great things that are happening (because they are. Really) But I'm having trouble getting it all down. Life is kind of kicking my butt right now. (can missionaries say that?) And everything I try to start gets overwhelming about halfway in. I think Zoe realized this about me because she decided to be potty trained and just started telling me she had to go and that was pretty much it. That's the only explanation I can come up with because I honestly did not want to deal with it right now. Or maybe ever.

Anyway, the boys started school this month because the school year here runs March-December. Logan is doing great mostly because he's social and works better with other kids his age doing the same thing as him. The only part that is hard is homework. I thought homeschooling was tough (it was) trying to help a 4th grader do homework in Spanish is ridiculous. I could probably easily help with the homework in english but naming the tools used in a chemistry lab is a little out of my depth. Every day he asks for help and I end up telling him to ask dad when he gets home.

Timothy on the other hand has been struggling with every aspect of school but he's finally getting in the groove. Autism and sensory integration issues are not very well known here. So we are trying to teach his teacher about it while also trying to help Tim with Spanish, cursive, and anything the teacher sends home for him to work on. Thankfully we found a great tutor who doesn't speak any english but is extremely patient and seems to like working with Tim. Timothy can understand her because it's one on one with no distractions and she speaks very slowly. Every day is a new test of my creativity to help him get through different challenges. We have learned he works best with some kind of reward looming in the near future to help him push through the hard parts.  That and lots of squishing, pillow/tickle fights or wrestling are what get us through the days.  




Zoe had her second birthday. I threw my first big party in awhile for her. She adores princesses and it was all pink and princess themed just for her. She loved it even though she only kept her tutu and tiara on long enough to take one picture. I did my best to just be a part of the party so I didn't get very many pictures. But it was a lot of fun and many people who love her were there to celebrate my sassy & sweet little 2 year old. She is constantly surprising us with how much she catches. She loves to sing and dance and draw on things with magic markers. She speaks her own version of spanglish and she imitates people perfectly. She often likes to run through all the names she knows. Repeating "awella" (Manuela) her hands down favorite person in the world. Having a daughter has been an adventure and a challenge but I wouldn't trade her. She lives up to the "life" part of her name for sure.  

For the last couple weeks we have had a lot of rain. Peru isn't used to rain...at all. When I have said it rained I was referring to Peru's version which is basically a light sprinkle. The kind of thing where back home everyone would be asking "is it raining?" Because you could stand outside in it for 10 minutes and still be completely dry. But the last couple weeks it's been good, solid, flood the streets raining a little every day. Because of that we've had a few setbacks, the church and our house flooded. The roof at the church caved in and even the school Logan goes to closed for a day because they had some rain related issues. It's amazing how much damage can be done when you aren't prepared.

God has been doing some really exciting things in the midst of all of this.                                    In coming here we had a few goals.                     One of them was to plant churchES.                 We've been in Piura for 4 years now and have been steadily growing that whole time. This Sunday we will have our grand opening at Powerhouse Chulucanas.                                     The second official church plant of Powerhouse Peru.                                                                       We have a great couple that have been working with us and learning a lot about ministry.           They will run the location and we will go every so often to make sure things are running smoothly.                                                              

This has been a huge undertaking along with everything else going on.                                      But we are so excited to see what happens.  Chulucanas is about an hour East of us here in Piura. It's a beautiful little city that's kind of in the mountains. The famous black and white pottery from Peru originated there.                       The location we found is right in the center of town.                                                                    About one block from the "Plaza de Armas" it's actually about 3 times as big as our Piura location so we are hopeful it will be filled with people seeking a relationship with Jesus.                    Starting tomorrow night we will have our own version of "The glory and the fire" put on by our awesome Powerhouse Peru people!

  

Thank you all for praying for us and to those of you who send us notes of encouragement on Facebook or email or whatsapp or by carrier pigeon.

 However they come they mean a lot to us when the days are hard. 

Thank you also to everyone who supports us financially. 

Your sacrifices help us to continue the work and often come in right at the moment we need it the most. 

We thank God for you and we thank you for you! 

Love from Peru! 

The Lopez's 

Joy in the morning

3 years ago at this time I was sitting in a hospital bed trying to force my body to lactate so my milk would come in to nourish my baby who I thought was fighting for his life one floor below me. Jose walked in with a look on his face that is permanently emblazoned on my brain. He didn't have to say anything, I knew. I remember throwing the pump away from me like it was to blame and saying no over and over again in hopes that maybe something would change. Holding onto Jose for dear life while we cried together. At that moment and for many months afterward I thought I would never recover. I remember my great grandmother who had lost 2 husbands and a few of her children saying that losing a child was harder than a spouse because nobody expects to lose a child. We expect our children to outlive us, anything else doesn't make sense.

I miss him. I wish I knew what kind of personality he would have had. Would he have been a clown like his brothers and sister? Would he have been an introvert like me. Would he love pickles like his dad? Would he have had green eyes like me and Tim or brown like everyone else? Would Thomas the train be his obsession at this age or would he have broken the trend and been into cars? What would his voice sound like?

They say that time heals all wounds and I guess in a sense that could be true. The gaping wound does heal. The bleeding stops. The constant pain of missing someone becomes less and less constant. But theres still a scar, a part of me that will never be the same. I will probably always get an ache in my heart when people ask how many children I have. But it is getting ever so much easier.

This year I was able to do something special in memory of Caleb that eased the pain of not having him here to celebrate his life. A few months ago I had a thought that I miss having birthday parties for Caleb. I'm not even that much of a birthday party person in general but when you can't do it you miss it. So I decided to have a birthday party for newborn babies in the hospital. We gathered diapers, baby wipes, clothes, blankets, baby wash etc... for the babies and hand lotion and chocolates for the moms. We wrapped up all the items in a box and delivered them by hand.

As we started to load up the van it began to rain. If you are new to this story let me explain what this meant to me. I have always felt like the rain is little love song from God to me. When we came to Piura I heard it had not rained in years. I was sad to think I would not get to experience the rain anymore. The night that Caleb was born it rained. After Caleb died it rained. And every night for the next month (and a little longer) it rained. It never rains very much but for the past 3 years it has rained a little bit here and there. Usually on days that I really need that extra touch from God to help me carry on. It rained for about 2 hours on the day we delivered gifts to the hospital.

most of the team and the head nurse for maternity/neonatal unit and the nurse in charge of the neonatal unit.

I didn't expect to hold a baby but all the moms insisted we hold their babies. It was a very happy/sad moment for me

all of our team (minus Jose who had to wait downstairs with Zoe) and the head nurse

God worked in so many ways behind the scenes to make this an amazing day. I cried many times but mostly they were happy tears knowing how much God loves me and that he has not forgotten me in my darkest days. Everyone involved was so excited about what we were doing and everyone we encountered was amazed. We decided to make this an annual event to honor Caleb's memory. Next year we hope to at least triple the amount of gift baskets so that every woman in the maternity unit can receive one. (We had no idea how many women would be there and we guessed about 10 and there were at least 35!) 

Psalm 30:5b says "Weeping may last for a night but joy comes in the morning". My weeping lasted much longer than a night. But joy has come in very unexpected ways. 

Christmas Spirit

A few days ago Jose and I were at the mall and took a taxi home. The mall was insane with shoppers and getting a taxi felt like an impossible task because so many people were trying to get one. We were on a date and hadn't been shopping so we were pretty relaxed about the whole thing, and finally found one. Jose was making conversation with the driver and mentioned how crazy the mall was. The  driver told us he actually hadn't planned to work that night but a friend needed his help to buy something and he saw the opportunity to make a little extra cash. Then he started complaining about the commercialism of all the people shopping for Christmas and explaining to us how Jesus wasn't born on Christmas anyway. In the end we found out he was a Jehovas witness and doesn't celebrate Christmas or any holiday or birthday (ok, honestly we already knew they don't celebrate anything) I left the cab feeling kind of sad. I mean, he chose that religion and he has chosen not to celebrate any of those things. But the thing that made me sad was how...angry he was about Christmas. I told Jose "I can't imagine a life without celebration" I love celebrating birthdays and holidays. Gifts are my favorite both to give and receive. And even non gifting holidays are so much fun! Holidays mean time with family and friends, yummy food (which is my second love language) and generally a time to relax and enjoy life. I love holidays!

I've had that taxista on my mind a lot though. What he said and how I felt afterwards. I've been thinking about it and I realized that while he was saying what he said because of his religion. I've heard a lot of people say similar things. They celebrate Christmas but they can be rather "bah, humbug" about the whole thing. We get all up in arms and angry at stores for not saying the word "Christmas" I understand the sentiment behind the anger but what if we came at it a different way? What if instead of getting mad and complaining about stores not using the term Christmas, we made a point of showing the employees (who really have no control over company policy) of those stores the meaning of Christmas. Not passive aggressively or pointedly saying "Merry Christmas" but warmly wishing them a Merry Christmas. Being kind and patient with them. Not losing our tempers because whatever we need is out of stock, or not enough registers open, or they let the person with 11 items go through the "10 items or less" register. Even if they don't seem to know what customer service is. Lets not let that be the thing that ruins our days.

 The same thing goes for other shoppers. I joked the other day that there are some fates worse than death and one of them is shopping on the weekends in December. I stood in line for an hour on Saturday because I hadn't planned ahead and I ran out of diapers. I am a person who needs personal space. I don't prefer to have people closer than about a foot  from my body at any given time. It just feels very awkward for me. But God in his infinite wisdom and with his sense of humor. Decided I should live in a place where personal space isn't important to the average person. Especially at grocery stores. If the person behind you has a grocery cart they will make sure it touches your back. If they don't have a cart they will just stand that close to you. I've never been the person standing that close in the behind position so I'm still not sure how they feel comfortable that way but apparently it's just normal. I've found coping mechanisms that help me, like standing in front of my cart in the line so that I can control the distance between me and the people around me. But sometimes I can't do that and if I spend a lot of time crowded like that I get very tense. I have to actively not get upset with the person who keeps accidentally grazing my behind with their hand or ramming my ankles with their cart.

The other area is with family. I have plenty of holiday memories where I felt like X family member "totally ruined Christmas." And I have a tendency to feel a little sad on the holidays that we are over here and so many of the people we love are over there. But that is not what I want my Holiday memories to be like and I don't want my kids to remember me being sad, annoyed or angry on the holidays. So instead of letting other people ruin things. I'm going to modify the adage that "nobody can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission" and say that "nobody can ruin the holidays for you without your permission" I want love and magic and joy on the holidays. I want my kids to grow up thinking that nothing bad can happen on the holidays and even if it does it doesn't have to ruin our fun. I want them to look forward to Christmas music and decorations that make it look like winter even though it's summer here. I want to make up new traditions every year so that you almost can't go a day in December without a tradition for that day. So instead of new years resolutions I have holiday resolutions.
I resolve to not complain about Christmas or any "problems" I encounter related to the holidays. But instead to look for the bright side of things
I resolve to find opportunities to enjoy my family every single day
I resolve to instill in my kids a love for the holidays
I resolve to make up new traditions every year and never let them be stressful but fun.
I resolve not to lose sight of the reason for the holidays. To celebrate the ultimate gift that God gave us. His son Jesus. Without whom we would have no hope.

I know that celebrating Christmas will not make me a "better" Christian. I probably won't change the world by enjoying this time of year. But I can be much more effective at sharing my hope to those around me with a smile on my face than with a frown.