our little miracle

Zoe Rain Milagros Lopez is the name we have chosen for this little miracle inside of me. 

Names are important to us so we have put a lot of thought into this one. 

Maybe a little extra thought because of the circumstances. 

If you have read my blog for very long you know that Caleb was supposed to be a girl (and I'm still hesitant to believe we are actually having a girl now even though we had a 3D ultrasound this time.) You might also remember that the name we had planned was Zoe Marie.  

Marie is my middle name and the middle name of my great grandmother (I was actually named after her.) I like the way the names sound together but was not altogether fond of the meaning. 

Zoe means life and Marie means bitter or bitterness. I've always kind of hated that my middle name means bitter even though I love the fact that I was named after my grandma. So after a lot of thought and prayer I told Jose I changed my mind and we needed to find a new middle name for this little girl.  Unfortunately, we were stumped. There are lots of girls names we both like but didn't like the way they sounded with Zoe. 

One night while Jose was reading the Proverb of the day to the boys it was the 4th and much of the Proverb is about finding wisdom and never letting her go and all the good she will do for you. 

So he joked we should name a little girl wisdom. 

Sometimes I can't tell if he's joking so I vetoed the idea and googled "girls names meaning wisdom" I found a list with all these names I have never even heard of from all over the world but one of them stood out to me. 

Rain. 

Rain has special meaning to me so I took it as a sign that we found her middle name Zoe Rain Lopez was our name in my mind. Even though I hadn't confirmed it with Jose. A couple days later we were on a date and I told him what I was thinking. He liked it. Our only concern is we live in a country where both of those names are extremely difficult to say correctly. We didn't want our little girl to hate her name because nobody can understand what she's saying when she introduces herself. So we started discussing nicknames. Jose mentioned the name Milagros because it means miracle in spanish. We consider this baby a miracle so it just seemed to fit. Plus Pastora Milagros in Lima has been a huge blessing to us in so many ways through everything so we loved having the opportunity to honor her as well. When we talked about it I said "we could call her Mila (me-luh) here" and we knew we had a winner.  

2 weeks ago at 25 1/2 weeks pregnant

So you can call her Zoe, Mila, Rain, or littlest Lopez. We will probably call her all of the above and more but for right now we are calling her our little miracle

Fall on your knees

My all time favorite Christmas song is "Oh Holy Night" every time I hear it I am moved almost to tears. It's more than the words it's also the way the music ebbs and swells at the exact perfect moment. But this part gets me every time.

"The thrill of hope, 

a weary world rejoices 

for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. 

Fall on your knees..." 

Just think about that. The whole world was in the darkest of places, weary really.

If you have every really felt hopeless you probably also experienced weariness. 

It's just this feeling of being so completely drained of anything left to keep going. 

When suddenly something new and glorious comes. 

Hope that makes your heart race. 

Hope that makes everything stop as you fall on your knees to worship the savior of your soul.

Without a doubt 2012 has been the hardest year of my life so far.
There have been good and difficult things this year but when I look back the difficult things seem to overshadow everything else.
I had started this post yesterday morning with a much different idea of which way it was going to go. Then I got word that a dear friend lost her 3 year old son in a car accident.
My heart dropped because I know that pain all too well.
I spent the last day of 2012 crying and praying for my friend
and grieving all over again for my sweet Caleb.
I doubt anything shatters your heart like losing a child.
Nothing anyone says can help.
It's a hopeless, weary feeling.
And yet, I woke up rejoicing. A new day, a new year broke and it is glorious.
I could hear my boys playing in the other room.
I could feel the baby inside of me wiggling and the man I love had his arm around me.
Yesterday all I could see was the pain in this world and today I see
HOPE.
I have no guarantee that this year will be easier than last year.
But I do have hope that it can be.


God gave me this passage last year and it carried me through the difficult times so
I wanted to end this post with it.

 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:11-14a

Christmas Outreach 2012

This year we are really excited to partner with Salvemos A La Familia

in the fight against child sexual abuse.

In Peru 4 out of every 10 children are sexually abused.

In Latin America 224 cases of sexual abuse are reported per hour.  

This totals 2 million children abused sexually every year. 

Most sexual abuse is committed by someone the child knows. 

The impact of that abuse is life altering. 

We believe that education is key in helping to prevent child sexual abuse.

Our plan is to give the book "Cuentos Que No Son Cuentos" to children ages 2-9 years old.

This book will help them to prevent sexual abuse, understand how to react if they are in a situation of abuse, and build their self esteem.

The publishing house has made the books available to us at cost.

 Would you like to partner with us?

For every $1 that you give 2 children will benefit. 

Our goal is to reach 2000 children in Piura and the surrounding area. 

This video is in Spanish but it gives a lot of the information I posted above. 

To give to this outreach please donate through the paypal link on the right. 

Our deadline to order the books is December 15th. Every dollar we collect through paypal until then will go directly into this outreach.

Thank you in advance for your part in impacting the lives of the children of Peru. 

Thanksgiving Missionary style

Yesterday we had the privilege of celebrating Thanksgiving with our Missionary friends here. I only take random pictures and we all got wrapped up talking so I didn't get a group pic. But I did get these

Makes you feel like you were there with us right? check out Logan, looking like he is about to do  something he shouldn't. He probably was. As you may notice the Ens (our friends who hosted us) have 2 boys close in age to ours. They also have an older daughter. Sadly I don't have a girl for her to play with but Timothy thinks they were sent here because he prayed for a boy his age. So God sent the Ens with their 5 year old named Timothy. Our Timothy has dubbed him 2nd Timothy. So we went biblical on the nicknames and call them 1st and 2nd Timothy

1st Timothy swiping some of the cheese ball prematurely

Logan and 2nd Timothy...have you ever noticed how hard it is to take pictures of 

little boys when they haven't seen each other in awhile? 

Real Men help with the food prep

Real men also get food for their kids 

Here in Peru we don't have canned or instant stuff so we had pretty much everything made from scratch

(except for the cranberry sauce I imported ;) 

I learned how to make cheese balls which I've never attempted before but they came out pretty great if I do say so myself. :P One of the girls there made her first ever "from scratch" sweet potato casserole 

everything was amazing. I'm actually a little sorry I didn't think to swipe some leftovers. :)

I will be making Thanksgiving dinner for our church next week though so hopefully I can do 

justice to the food we had yesterday. I'm hungry again just thinking of it. 

I haven't participated in any of the 31 days of gratitude things people have been doing on twitter (and FB I think...) But there are a few things I'm especially grateful for that I wanted to mention.

God and his grace, mercy and faithfulness. I know it sounds like just the right thing to say but I am seriously feeling so grateful for Him lately.

Jose. I could not have found a better man or husband if I searched for 1000 years. He isn't perfect but he's perfect for me. I love him so much

Logan and Timothy. They make me laugh all the time. 

They are always there offering to do all kinds of helpful things. Like sleeping in my bed at night 

or mopping the floor with lemonade before I wake up.

But they are sweet, sweet boys and I thank God for them everyday. 

My life would not be as full without them.

A healthy pregnancy and baby

True friends here in Peru and also in the states. 

As Philippians 1:3 says "Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God."  

It is really amazing to know that there are so many people I could call up and they would 

be happy to hear from me even if I just need to ask for help or prayer or a listening ear.

God is so faithful to provide for all of our needs no matter how big or small. "friends" might not seem like that big of a deal but sometimes they are more valuable than you can imagine.

And now I will leave you with the one picture of me. 

Right before we started eating I asked for this picture to be taken. 

Enjoy our goofy faces.  

Happy Thanksgiving!

Pregnancy after loss

The last couple months have been a bit of a roller coaster for me. Since everything seemed fine with my last pregnancy I feel this hesitancy to totally get comfortable. Planning for the future seems so silly. I mean I did that last time. I had a baby registry and planned out how I would decorate the nursery. When he didn't come home with me though, any baby stuff I had out only served as a reminder of the big hole in my heart and my arms. But if I don't think about the nursery and the baby, if I don't plan then does that say I'm expecting the same outcome as before? This is the difficulty in being pregnant after losing a child the way I did. I want this child so much and I'm afraid to lose it. I'm also afraid to give into the joys of expecting in case I do lose it. I'm told it's normal to feel this way and I'm sure it is. That doesn't make it any easier.

The good news is that I have now had 2 ultrasounds with great results. The report that the Dr sent home with me listed my amniotic fluid level as "normal" both times. There is no way to explain how happy I am to have a normal amount of amniotic fluid. The baby has wiggled all the way through both ultrasounds and that is another great sign. Last time we took the boys with us hoping to find out the gender (no dice, the baby is still too small for Peruvian ultrasound technology to be able to tell) and we got to see the hand and the feet. We told them the baby was waving and they were excited about it. Both of my boys are voting for another brother. Apparently they like the boys club we've got over here.    Everyone in the world is wishing for me to have a girl, so the rebel in me thinks I should have another boy. It kind of seems like thats what I'm wired for anyway. Honestly I'll be happy either way. I just really want a healthy baby. Seriously, that's all that I care about.


If you are praying for us please continue to pray for the baby's health and peace for our family.
Also the value of the dollar has been plummeting over here. That means our money is not going as far as it was before because we are losing value in the exchange. God is faithful and has been providing as we have needs but we are praying that the dollar turns around and at least stabilizes. Hopefully it's just temporary.

We have a lot going on in the next few months that I'm just waiting until it's all finalized before I share. But please continue to pray that God opens doors and brings the provision for the doors that he has opened